


Scared And Numb

by Gameguy1992, Memoryweaver1



Category: Zootopia (2016)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, Im not a doctor, Lemons, Psychological Trauma, Rebuilding, Speciesism, Tags to be added, coming to terms, family support, learning to cope
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-04
Updated: 2019-09-06
Packaged: 2019-11-09 04:00:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 43,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17994449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gameguy1992/pseuds/Gameguy1992, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Memoryweaver1/pseuds/Memoryweaver1
Summary: The happiest moment of Judy's and Nick's life became a nightmare in a single second; shattering like glass into a thousand tiny pieces. In that instant both of them changed; their lives changing in permanent and irreversible ways. Can they both survive what happened to them and find a way to regain what they had? Or are they now to scarred and numb to come back from the trauma? Can their love even overcome the trauma they experienced when it has cost them so much? Can you Overcome the scars of life if you cannot feel them?





	1. Together and Broken

**Author's Note:**

> hello folks.  
> Im sure some of you are wondering whats going on.  
> and why you have to resubscribe/follow me or this story.
> 
> Long story short, someone broke into my old AO3 account and deleted it.  
> So I have to start over and repost these stories. luckily i had these chapters saved and backed up.

“Will you marry me?”

Those words echoed in her ears. somehow heard but not believed by her brain. Had he? Had Nick really? She blinked, her mind struggling to understand what was happening. He'd insisted on going out tonight. The moment their shifts had been over he'd rushed them back to their apartment. He'd practically ripped off his uniform, hers too for that matter. And then the second she’d gotten dressed he had grabbed her hand and pulled her back out the door but not before he'd grabbed something else; a basket.

She could still remember the smile that had covered her face as he'd pulled a blanket from the basket, unfurling it with a dramatic flourish before settling it on the ground. They were at her favorite park in the plains district. All around them tall grasses sprung up, creating an ocean like wave as the wind washed through them. Off in the distance she could hear kids laughing and playing in the tall grasses. The occasional tree jutted up from the sea of grasses, offering shade from the sun. He'd made them lunch, a picnic. And he'd made her favorite foods. Sandwiches of lettuce and carrots. Fresh fruit salad. Somehow ice cold apple juice. Even a slice of blueberry pie for them to share for dessert. A dessert that he had required they feed each other. It had been wonderful. No it had been perfect. The nicest thing anyone had ever done for her. But then again that was Nick Wilde, the nicest person she'd ever met.

It had been that niceness thay had drawn her to him. Had made her start to see him as more. More than just a friend or a partner on the job. But… as someone she wanted to be with. Someone she could trust. Someone she didn't want to let go of. She could still remember the night she'd confessed. Ok, maybe confessed wasn't the right word for it. They'd had the weekend off and they'd spent it in her apartment watching terrible movies, ordering takeout for every meal and drinking. Oh gods had there been drinking. So much so that by the time she'd worked up the nerves to say the words she'd been almost too drunk to stand.

“loshen her ya slal littel fosh.” She'd grabbed his shirt, partially for dramatics and also partially to keep herself from falling over as she tried to stand. “Av had shometim to tell yoo for a will now. Nn now am jush gonna shay et.”

In retrospect she hadn't actually said any words. But she had pulled him forward, dragging him into a sloppy drunken kiss that probably qualified as the dumbest thing she'd ever done. But when they'd broken apart, both of them panting; he hadn't pulled away. Instead he'd grabbed her dragging her back against him and into another kiss. And then another and another and another until they both drunk all over again but this time not on the alcohol. That night was still a blur, even a year later. She could remember parts and pieces, parts and pieces that she treasured. The feeling of Nick's fingers on her skin as he'd pulled off her shirt. The powerful rippling of his muscles as she'd laid on top of him for another kiss. The soft almost purr like moan he'd let out as she'd found that little spot along his collarbone. The feeling of vulnerability as he'd removed the last of her clothing, leaving them both completely bare and exposed to each other. The sensation of his tongue, everywhere; making her feel things she didn't even know were possible. The soft tenderness of the way he'd handled her, almost like she was made of glass. The feeling of his breath on the back of her neck as his weight and warmth had pressed down around her. The rush of pleasure and love that had flooded her as they'd joined together. The raw animalistic passion and need that had consumed them. The lovingly soft way they'd laid together afterwards, both of them exhausted but happy, unable or unwilling to leave each other's arms.

The next day had been awkward to say the least. They'd both struggled with a hangover from hell. One that made their heads throb their eyes water and had made Nick in particular unable to keep anything in his stomach for more than a few minutes. Somehow she'd passed out while he had been in the bathroom. She'd woken up to find him gone. A blanket; the very one he'd used for the picnic actually, placed over her. And a note that simply read. 

 

_ Need to think about things.  _

_ -Nick.  _

_ Ps: you're a good kisser. _

 

She'd felt fear then. A worry that she'd ruined their relationship with that drunken urge and desire filled night. It hadn't helped that she didn't see him for the next two days. Normally they texted hundreds of messages a day. She'd sent him three texts in two days; that he didn't respond to. He's away from his phone. He's got the ringer turned off. The battery died. She'd come up with reason after reason as to why he hadn't responded. Doing everything in her power to avoid the reason that sank like a cold stone in her stomach. That she'd fucked up. That he didn't want to see her again. That he hated her and thought she was a disgusting pred-pinning freak.

Then there had been a knock at her door, and a soft “Carrots. It's me. Open up.”

She wasn't sure what she'd expected when she'd opened the door. Certainly not to see him standing there in a pair of slacks, a nice button up shirt and a small bouquet of flowers. She'd been surprised by that. Her mind having gone blank for a moment as He’d extended the bouqet of flowers for her to take before smiling sheepishly. “Judy Hopps, would you… like to go on… a date… with me?”

That had been over a year ago. A whole year of tender love, beautiful romantic gestures and feelings of happiness she hadn't felt in a long time. Yes they had to hide their relationship at work. But that was easy, they just didn't kiss or make out in the breakroom and no one was any the wiser. And now they stood there, well she stood there; in front of their apartment building with Nick in front of her down on one knee with a smile on his face and… a ring in his fingers. “Carrots, will you marry me?”

Her brain froze at those words. The rest of the world simply fell away. Was this really happening? Was he really? Her heart hammered in her throat as she looked down at him and at his outstretched hand and at the ring held between his fingers. This was real? He was really asking her to-

“Yes.” Reality snapped back as soon as she said the word. Before she knew what she was doing she flung herself at him, his arms wrapping around her body in a tight embrace. She couldn't stop her voice now, tears trickling down her face as she repeated that word over and over and over. “Yes. YES. YES!”

oh gods she was shaking, her entire body trembling in his arms. A jolt ripped through her as she felt his hand touch her wrist, gently bringing it forward so he could-

Her breath froze in her chest as the ring slipped onto her finger. The fit was perfect. The simple gold band gleaming and sparking in the dim light of the evening. As he pushed the ring back against her hand Nick spoke softly. “Then by the power vested in me, by myself. I now pronounce you Mrs. Sly fox.”

She looked up at him, her mind still struggling to make sense of the rush of emotions that were raging through her at that moment. But it was his expression that made her start to cry again. All around them the sounds of the evening city echoed and rang. A car slowly drove up their street. The hum of air conditioners created a soft chorus. The smooth rustle of leaves as the wind washed through them. But none of that mattered compared to the expression on his face. That soft beautiful loving smile. The one she'd woken up to at first once a week, then twice, then three times and then every day for the last six months. It made her heart flutter and her tail twitch. It flooded her with the urge to kiss him. It reached down into her and somehow made her happier than anything else ever had or could. “I love you.”

Before he could respond she kissed him, their lips pressing together in a warm sweet loving connection that they had shared so many times before but not somehow seemed to be more meaningful. More intimate. As if it had-

“ **FREAKS!!! GO TO HELL YOU SPECIES TRAITOR!”**

The bellowing yells made them both jerk and break the kiss. Judy gnashed her teeth in anger shifting so she could yell back at the voice that had come from beh-

“Nick LOOK OU-”

_ CRASH _

Glass exploded around them like a grenade. the sound of it breaking and shattering ripping through the night air. She watched in slow motion as the bottle collided with the back of Nick's head, exploding as it connected, sending waves of glass in all directions. A second later white hot pain ripped through her face as the glass raced past her, cutting her cheeks and ears as it did. In front of her Nick jerked, his grip on her tightening for a second before he suddenly lurched forward. His grip on her vanished almost at once and it was only due to her training that she managed to get her feet under her in time before his entire weight hit her. “Nick! Nick!”

He didn't respond, instead his head hung limply from his shoulders. A second later something warm, something sickening perversely and horribly warm dripped onto her face as she struggled to hold him up. The smell hit her a second later. Blood. Nick's blood.

She could hear a car speeding away, faint sounds of laughter echoing from it. It took all of her strength to shift Nick off of her and slowly lower him to the ground. She followed her training, supporting the back of his head with her hand. Her stomach lurched horribly as she felt her fingers become slick with Nick's warm wet blood. “Nick!”

She needed him to move. To say something. To sit up and say he was ok. To groan, or make some stupid sarcastic comment like he always did when things were serious. Anything to show her that he was ok. Around her she could hear new sounds. People shouting as doors flew open. But it all sounded so very far away. As if the sounds were coming from another planet. All she could see was his face. His beautiful perfect impossible to live without face. The face she'd fell in love with. The face that smiled at her every day. The face that was the first thing she saw in the morning and the last thing she saw before bed. The face that had been so happy when she'd agreed to marry him only seconds ago. The look of happiness was gone, now only his cold empty blue eyes looked at her. That look scared her. Filling her with a fear she had never felt before in her life. A cold gnawing sickening horrific fear that grabbed at her and tried to drag her away from him like some horrible cruel monster.

“ **Nick!”**

 

\--------

 

Weakly she groaned, her body feeling odd. Heavy, like she was weighed down by… something. She struggled to move, her hands and arms refusing to do as she told them. But her eyes did work, albeit with great effort as she managed to open one of them. The world was blurry around her, a mess of barely understood shapes and colors and sounds. She could hear something, voices maybe? But they were messed up, backwards, underwater and from miles away. She tried to move, to speak. But her body still refused to work. The world had just started to clear when she felt it. The infinite black of unconsciousness reaching up, grabbing her and dragging her back down into its abyssal depths.

_ Nick _

 

\-------

 

Her eyes opened again. The world was different now. Calmer, softer. She blinked, finding that it took much less effort than it had before to open both of them. She willed her hand to move, and with a jolt found that she could move her fingers if she focused hard enough. She was in a bed under the blankets. Something to her right was letting off a soft rhythmic beeping sound. A doorway to her right led… somewhere. She tried to move her head, a gasp erupting from her lungs as white hot lances f pain lashed across her face. Making her cringle and gasp

Then a new sound, the sound of the door opening, footsteps and then-

“Ms Hopps Can you hear me?”

Something came into view. Not something, someone. A male cheetah, wearing some kind of… white coat. She blinked at him, her brain struggling to understand. In front of her the cheetah moved, leaning over her before shining a light in her eyes. She groaned from the sudden brightness, her eyes stinging in response.

“Ms Hopps Can you hear me? Squeeze my finger if you can hear me.”

She could feel something in her hand. Something warm and alive, it didn't feel like a finger. But she did as the cheetah's voice asked. Willing her fingers to squeeze the warm living thing. “Nnnnn-”

The cheetah shook his head. “No. No speaking. You're still very weak. Rest now. You'll wake again soon. I promise.”

“NNNNN-” but it was to late. Her vision became unfocused, returning her to the world of shapes and colors and sounds. That too vanished a moment later as darkness again rushed up to greet her.

 

\----------

 

_ She loved feeling him against her. When they slept. When they showered. When they were just watching tv. Somehow being against him, feeling his fur against hers. His warmth and her warmth mixing together. It made her happier than she could express. It was a primal connection maybe? An instinctual holdout from their long feral ancestors perhaps? Whatever it was, he seemed to share it too. He'd practically insisted that they sleep naked from the day he'd moved in, just so he could feel her against him with no interruptions. Not that she minded in the least. She loved the feeling of him against her. Of his breath on her neck and shoulders. Of his arms around her stomach and hips. Of his hands on her chest. It was heaven. Why on earth would she have a problem with heaven? Especially a heaven with him and her naked and together. And if some innocent fur on fur time turned into special sexy kinky fur on fur time, well that just made their heaven together so much better. _

 

\----------

 

“MsHoppscanyouhearme?”

She groaned weakly, her eyes opening as the dream of her and Nick cuddled up together imploded. The cheetah was back, looking down at her with a soft but caring face. “Ms Hopps. Can you hear me?”

She groaned again. Managing to nod weakly. “Y-yeah.”

The cheetah moved. Coming around the bed and to the side with the rhythmic beeping. Slowly she turned, managing to keep him in her sights as he came to a stop in front of a machine. After a few moments he spoke. “Ok. I'm going to give you a little stimulant. It's gonna clear up you head a bit. Hang on.” 

She blinked stupidly. Watching as he did… something. She opened her mouth to speak, only to have her words wash away as a new feeling rushed through her. It was like drinking a cup of coffee first thing in the morning. The best cup of coffee EVER. It sent a jolt through her bringing the world into sharper focus as it pushed away the heaviness she'd felt before. “W-whao…”

The cheetah turned to her. “Wasy Ms Hopps. Don't push yourself. You've been out of it for a few hours now.”

She looked at him. “Where am I?”

The cheetahs knelt down, pulling a small penlight from his pocket. “Zootopia Presbyterian hospital. Follow the light with your eyes please.”

She did as he asked, flinching a little as he shown the light in her eye before flicking it off to the side. “Where's Nick?”

The cheetah put the penlight away. “your friend is here. But for now I need to focus on you. Ok?”

She tried to move, to sit up. Only ro find the doctor's hand moving to her shoulder, gently but firmly pushing her back into the pillow. “No no Ms Hopps. You're in no condition to exert yourself right now. The wake up juice may have worked. But you're still weak. Relax.”

She groaned weakly. She'd faced down 600, pound charging rhinos without giving an inch. Yet somehow this cheetah's hand felt like it had the weight of the world behind it as it kept her pinned until she stopped trying to move. Only then did he withdraw it. “How did I get here?”

The cheetah looked at her. “If you mean here to the hospital, one of your neighbors called 911. If you mean here to this room. That… was trickier. The nurses tell me you were hysterical. They had to sedate you so they could take Mr Wilde away.”

Take made her look up. “Where is he? Where's Nick?” 

The cheetah shook his head. “I can't focus on that now. I need to be sure you're ok. What do you remember about what happened?”

She blinked at the question. “I… we… Nick… he…” her voice shook as she looked at her hand, her heart jolting as she found that the ring he had given her was still on her finger. She felt tears well up in her eyes at the sight of it.  _ Oh god. _ She struggled to move, to bring her hands together so she could squeeze the ring as fresh tears fell down her face. “Ooooooh god. They threw a bottle at him. It hit him in the head. He wasn't moving. There was sooooo much blood.”

She sniffed loudly. She'd started to shake.as she'd spoken. A result of the best time of her life having almost instantly become the worst and having to relive it. trying to bring her shaking under control she moved, reach up to wipe away the tears from her ey-

Her eyes widen as her fingers encountered some kind of stiff lattice covering part of her face. Her breath caught in her chest as her hands slowly traced the lines of the lattice, feeling it grow and grow as well as move, seeming to wrap around the side of her head. In front of her the doctor spoke. “Ms Hopps, I'm gonna need you to remain calm. You were injured too in the attack.”

She looked at him. Her mind struggling to make sense of what her hand had felt. “Wh-what are they?”

The doctor sighed and spoke softly. “Stitches. 63 of them to be- Ms HOPPS!”

She struggled to move. Trying to push the blankets away so she could get up. She needed a mirror, a shiny surface, SOMETHING. She had to see what had been done to her face. Instantly the doctor was gripping her shoulders and pushing her back onto the bed. “Ms HOPPS. I NEED YOU TO STAY CALM. WE DID IT TO HELP YOU.”

she struggled against his grip. “Lemme see it! I need to see!” 

Above her the doctor seemed to hesitate. “Ms Hopps, no good will come from that. You'll just-”

But he broke off as she glared at him. Two years in the ZPD had taught even her how to give a look that could make people freeze. When she spoke, it was slow and deliberate. “I want to see. NOW.”

She watched as the doctor sighed before producing a small pocket mirror. He held it out to her to take, only to pull it back at the last second. “Ms Hopps… PLEASE remember, it looks worse than it really is.” again he offered her the pocket mirror. She snatched it away from him before he could take it back, turning the mirror so she could-

Her eyes went wide as her face came into view. A spiderwork of stitches and held closed gashes met her gaze. The stitches started just below her ear and seemed to extend all the way down to her jaw before wrapping midway around to the back of her head. Making almost everything from the side of her left eye onward look like some kind of Frankenstein hack job. She felt her heartbeat jump, next to her the machine’s beeping increased. She looked like a monster! Suddenly she had the urge to rip the stitches out. To pull the spider web of thread and sutures off her face. Like doing so would somehow reveal that it wasn't really there. As if the doctor knew what she was thinking he spoke. “Ms Hopps. I need you to breath. I know it looks bad. I promise, it's not as bad as it looks. And it's just till they start to heal. Then we'll remove them.”

She looked up at him, a single thought filling her mind. “Where is Nick?”

The doctor shifted a bit. “Your fri-”

“HE'S NOT MY FRIEND!” The sound of her shriek hurt her ears but she didn't care. That word; friend. It was like an insult to him. A slap in the face too everything he'd ever done for her. He was more than a friend. He was more than a best friend. He was… EVERYTHING to her. Her heart hammered in her chest and for a moment she wanted to leap out of the bed and run through the hospital until she found him.

“MS HOPPS.” The stern sound of the doctor's voice focused her as did the feeling of his hands firmly on her shoulders. She looked at him and he looked at her for a moment before speaking. “I know what you're feeling. I've treated cops before. Right now every part of your training is screaming at you to find your partner. To find him and make sure that he's ok and bring him to safety. But that will only make things worse. You're in no condition to exert yourself like that. And Nick Wilde is currently unconscious and in surgery. So he cannot see you right now either. I promise, the moment he is out of surgery; I will bring you to him. But for now, I NEED you to remain calm. If you can't or won't then I will have you sedated. But right now as hard as it may be, I need you to stay calm and not freak out. Ok?”

She forced herself to breath. To take one breath after another after another. He was right. Every part of her wanted to run. To race through the hallways calling his name. To find him and pull him against her and keep him safe. and as wrong as t sounded, some part of her deep deep down hoped that he would feel the same.way when e woke. “I… I want to see him. The very MOMENT he's out.”

The doctor nodded. “ok. Now, I want you to rest for 30 more minutes. Do that for me and i'll let the people downstairs come up and see you for a bit. Ok?”

She looked up at him, slightly confused. “People down stairs?”

The doctor nodded, chuckling slightly. “I have probably half the ZPD down there. Including the Chief of police. So rest up. They've been here for hours and will be relieved to see you awake.” 

She watched as the doctor began to move towards the door. “Is… is… Nick going… to be ok?”

She was scared of his answer. As strange at it sounded, she was. So much so that she nervously squeezed the finger with the ring Nick had given her as the doctor looked at her. “Your partner is a fighter Ms Hopps. I have no doubt that he's fighting tooth and nail in his own way so he can make it back here. Now rest.”

He left her alone after that. Stepping through the door before closing it behind him, leaving her alone. She squeezed her ring again. 30 minutes, she could do that. 30 was nothing, she could rest for that long. She'd spent hours on stakeouts with Nick, sometimes over 12 hours long and those had flown by. 30 mine was nothing, NOTHING.

 

\------

 

She'd been wrong. Those 30 minutes felt like the worst hours of her life. The slow beeping of the machine attached to her felt cold and uncaring. Like it was just there to remind her ‘you're still alive’. Every so often she'd hear something and her head would turn towards the door, expecting the doctor to return with the worst news imaginable. All the while she squeezed the ring, so much so that she was amazed she hadn't crushed it by the time the doctor came back. The soft knock at the door made her look up. “How are you feeling Ms Hopps?”

She could sum up how she felt in a single question. “How's Nick?”

The doctor sighed softly. “Still I'm surgery. There's been no change in his con-”

From outside the room a familiar voice spoke gruffly. “Ok. We've waited long enough.”

The door to the room opened again, a group of people filing into the room. Chief Bogo, Clawhauser, a wolf named Jacob she and Nick had made friends with while working a narcotics case, and a lion named Ken from ZPD-SWAT that she and Nick had teamed up with to solve a string a bank robberies with.

“Judy!” the sound of Clawhauser’s voice made her smile. “Oh thank goodness you're awake. We are all so worried. The doctors said your be fine but then they wouldn't let us see you and; how are you feeling?”

She tried to smile, something that made the spiderweb of stitches twing with pain. “Like one side of my face went through a shredder.”

From where he stood Ken chuckled. “So exactly how it looks then.”

His comment made her let out a half hearted chuckle. She'd come to appreciate Ken’s bluntness. Actually it had been him who had convinced her that she couldn't keep her feelings about Nick to herself forever. Although she was pretty sure having VERY drunk sex was not what he'd meant either. As Clawhauser, Ken and Jacob moved closer to her Chief Bogo stood back, looking around the room. “where’s Wilde?”

The doctor shook his head. “still I'm surgery. Same as the last time you-”

Jacob cut him off. “You've been saying that for the last 9 hours!”

Again the doctor sighed, his ears flicking down. “Nicolas Wilde's injuries are much more severe than Ms. Hopps. We are doing everything we can to help him. But what have to do is… delicate.”

Bogo grunted, turning to look at the doctor. Giving him the stern look he normally only used when he was daring someone to disobey him. “Tell me what's happened to my officer doctor.”

The doctor took a deep breath, his hand coming up to rub his face for a moment before whispering. “You cops and- alright, fine.” He removed his hand from his face and spoke. “Nicolas Wilde suffered a severe concussion from the impact of the glass bottle when it struck the back of his head. In addition to that he has multiple lacerations to his neck, head and back. But that's not what's taking so long.”

Judy bit her lip. “Then… what's taking so long?”

The doctor looked at her. “Mr Wilde has five shards of glass, ranging from an inch to three and a half inches long embedded in the base of his skull and neck. Two them, punctured the back of his skull and are about a hair's width away from his brain. The other three punctured the protective Dura Matter and Epidural layers of his spine. Which in simplest terms means he has glass pressed almost against the nerves that control everything from his movement to his heartbeat. One wrong move could leave him paralyzed or with brain damage or... worse. So yes. We are taking a VERY long time to do this right. Because we CANNOT make a mistake with this procedure.”

Silence filled the room. To Judy it felt like the world had dropped out from under her. She'd known his injuries would be bad but this… this was beyond bad. This was disastrous. She felt tears well up in her eyes again and she squeezed the ring harder than she had before.  _ Oh god, Nick… _

She could hear people talking Clawhauser trying to comfort her while ken, Jacob and Bogo demanded more answers from the doctor. None of it mattered, not to her anyways. She could see it in her mind, so clearly. The look of joy, of love he'd had on his face. He'd been so happy. So so SO happy. His smile had stretched from ear to ear. His ears had stood straight up and his tail had wagged furiously fast. And now he was staring down the barrel of a gun, and one wrong move could mean the end of everything for him, for her, for THEM.

That thought made her stomach lurch. Not just as a metaphor but physically, as she suddenly felt her insides writhe and wretch. Giving her barely enough time to scramble and lean over the side of the bed before-

Her sides heaved and shook as she vomited, all the delicious wonderful romantic food Nick had made for her came back up. Her throat burning and aching as she shook with tears in her eyes. It was like some joke, some cruel sick cosmic joke that only hours ago that food had brought her such happiness and joy but now only made her feel pain and humiliation. It was a joke, it had to be. She could still remember it all so well, that beautiful perfect picnic. The way he'd smiled as he'd handed her the sandwiches. The way he'd picked her up and pulled her into his lap. The way he'd held her so lovingly and beautifully as they'd eaten. How the wind had rustled through the grasses making the picnic seem so magical. And now… now… all of that was in danger. Nick might never walk again, or he might be a vegetable or… or…

A fresh wave of nausea forced more from her stomach, her sides heaving, her eyes watering until with a horrible sickening gurgle her stomach became completely empty. “Easy Ms. Hopps. Easy.”

She felt someone's hands on her back and shoulder, slowly pulling her away from the edge of the bed and back to the middle. As she laid back the doctor came into view, having been the one who had been helping her. She groaned weakly, her stomach letting out a mocking rumble now that it was empty. The doctor turned to the others who had stepped back and were looking worried. “Alright. Thats enough for today. Out.”

She groaned, shaking her head. “Ch-chief. I need to talk to you.”

Bogo stopped, looking to the doctor who sighed deeply. “Ms Hopps you really sho-”

But she cut him off, her voice more insistent. “I need to speak with the Chief, in private. Please, it's important.”

The doctor shifted, looking from her to Bogo for a moment. “Fine. five minutes Ms Hopps. The rest of you, OUT.”

As they were marched towards the door Judy heard Clawhauser call out. “we'll visit again soon Judy.” a moment later the door clicked shut leaving her and Bogo alone.

She groaned again, slowly sitting up in the bed. Gods she felt tired all of a sudden. In front of her Bogo knelt down next to her bed. “what is it Hopps?”

She forced herself to breath, to take deep calming breaths before speaking. “the people who did this…”

The Chief nodded. “we're already looking for them. Don't worry. I won't let someone get away with attacking two of my cops without-”

But he stopped talking as she shook her head. “n-no. It wasn't… because we were cops.”

Bogo looked at her, slightly confused. “then why Hopps?”

She bit her lip. It was going to come out eventually. She was required to tell the department if she went through any major life changes that could affect her work. And getting married… to her partner… that CERTAINLY qualified. She knew she had to do it. Nick knew they had to do it. It HAD to happen. “I… they…” she took another breath, steeling herself to say the words. “because… before it happened… Nick and I… were… kissing.”

Bogo remained silent for a moment his eyes widening a bit. That had definitely not been what he'd been expecting her to say. “Kissing?”

She nodded. “we've… been dating… for the last year. And… tonight… Nick… he… he…”  she shifted, looking down at the gold band still around her finger. “he asked me to marry him and I said yes.”

More silence met her words. After a few seconds she looked up, chancing a look at Bogo. She watched as she sighed deeply, his hand coming up to pinch the bridge of his nose for a moment. “you two certainly keep my job interesting.”

She smiled weakly but continued to speak. “I… I'm telling you that, so I can say this.” she looked at him, doing her best to sound stronger than she felt at that moment. “when you find the people who did this. I want them charged. I want them in prison for assaulting an officer, assault with a deadly weapon AND for committing a hate crime.”

She watched as the Chief looked at her uncertainty. “are you sure Hopps? If you do that, you'll have to explain WHY its a hate crime. There will be press. It’s not something you can keep quiet once it’s said.”

She nodded. “I want them jailed. I want them to SUFFER for what they did. I want-”

She broke off, a loud hiss escaping her mouth as pain lanced through her head. Next to her Bogo stood. “Hopps, as your superior I'm giving you an order; rest. Do whatever the doctor tells you to and GET BETTER. And… keep us updated on Wilde. Ok?”

She nodded, a faint smile flickering across her face. “Roger that Chief.”

The Chief chuckled before standing up. “I mean it Hopps. You and Wilde get better. I need my two best cops back.” She watched as he moved towards the door, pausing as he pulled it open before looking back at her. “If you tell anyone I called Wilde one of my best cops, I'll deny it… vehemently.”

She smiled again. The usual gruffness of the Chief somehow reassuring her in some small way. As Bogo left the room the doctor returned, walking around the bed to the machine she was connected. “Ms Hopps, I'm going to give you a small dose of sedative. Just enough to help you sleep for a few hours. Ok?”

She wanted to protest, to say she didn't need it. But she remained silent. Anything she said would be a lie. Instead she nodded. “o-ok.”

She watched as the doctor pushed a few buttons on the machine. A moment later she groaned, a soft warm relaxation washing through her body and mind. “mmmmm”

“Judy…… Judy.” Weakly she groaned. The sound of a voice calling her name making her look around. “come on silly bunny. Come to bed.”

She groaned as she felt a pair of warm strong arms wrap around her, pulling her close to a warm soft body she knew so well. HIS warm soft perfect body that somehow felt it had been made just for her. “n-n-n-Nick?”

“shhhhh. Sleep Judy. You're so sleepy. Rest now.” she wanted to resist. Wanted to remain awake and in his arms. But she could feel it. The rush of unconsciousness quickly coming for her. “Hey Judy. I love you.”

Her eyes drifted closed as she felt herself relax into those perfect warm strong arms. “..loove...you….ni...ck….”


	2. To Hear Him Again

_He had this habit of touching her chest while she slept. More than once she'd woken to find his fingers gently running through her chest fluff. She didn't mind it, in a way it was actually really sweet. The first thing she felt in the morning was his loving gentle touches and it made her so happy. To know that it wasn't a dream. That he was really there with her. It had been that thought that had made her do it. She'd woken up one morning and felt his fingers running through her chest. It felt so gentle. So wonderful. So indescribably perfect. “morning.”_

_She groaned, rolling over so she was facing him. “morning. What time is it?”_

_He smiled gently kissing her nose. “6:30am. almost time for me to go.”_

_She bit her lip. She hated it when he left. She felt so alone in her apartment. After the night they'd had. After the loving way she'd woken up. Watching him get dressed and leave… it was almost painful. “or…” her heart pounded in her chest. Gosh she never got this nervous. Not even when dealing with armed criminals. She'd been through it over and over in her head. Weighed out every possible upside and downside. But at the end of the day none of it had mattered. All she cared about was… “you could stay… here… “_

_He looked at her, a small smile on his face. “if I show up in the same uniform as yesterday people will wonder where I was. We work with literal detectives. Someone Would figure it out.”_

_Again she bit her lip. “Well… what if…. You're uniforms… were here too?”_

_His expression changed then, a small flicker of confusion covering his face for a moment; before, “wait… are you… do you mean… “_

_She nodded slowly. “Y-yeah.”_

_He blinked at her for a moment. “are… are you sure?”_

_She nodded, gently shifting so she was against his chest. “I don't want you to go. I want you here, with me. always.”_

_Slowly a smile spread across his face; until it was stretching from ear to ear. He leaned in, giving her nose another soft gentle kiss. “I’d love that. Id love that very much.”_

_That night he'd brought over a box of his stuff, and they'd begun living together_

 

\-------

 

“how's Nick doing?”

Those were literally the first words out of her mouth as she woke and found the male cheetah doctor from before standing over her again. The doctor didn't respond right away, turning to check the readout on the machine she was connected to before answering. Only once he was finished with that did he turn to respond to her question. “Mr wilde is out of surgery and recovering now. He's not out of danger yet, but the surgery went well from what i'm told. About as well as we could have hoped for at any rate. Like I said, he's a fighter.”

It was like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. He was out of surgery. He'd survived. “thank god.”

The doctor nodded. “yes. Surgery was the tricky part. Now he needs to rest while the anaesthesia wears off. And then… the hard part.”

That made her look at him with concern. “hard part?”

The doctor nodded. “injuries like this almost always have side effects, even when the surgery goes well. We need to wait till he wakes up so we can see what if any unexpected side effects he has. And then after that it's a matter of figuring out how to manage those side effects.”

She nodded. She should have known surgery wouldn't be the end of Nick's trials. But still, the fact that he had survived… it made her feel better, More hopeful. “when can I see him?”

The doctor remained silent for a few moments. “later today I think. For now we need you to have some food. Then we need to check your injuries. And i'm sure you'll have more visitors. So sometime this afternoon should work. But we'll see I won't promise anything until after we know you're ok.”

She nodded. “ok.” as if on cue her stomach let out a loud rumble.

The doctor chuckled. “right on schedule. What would you like brought up? We have cereal, toast, pancakes, french toast, or breakfast burritos.”

A short while later the doctor left, taking her order to the nurses station and leaving her alone once again. Looking around the room Judy looked for something to pass the time with. Her eyes finally falling on her phone which someone had set on the small table next to her bed. She grabbed the device, opening it to find her message inbox almost overflowing with messages and texts of support for people and friends at work as well as several from her family. She opened those ones, scanning through the words of concern and well wishes.

Her parents were of course worried sick. And apparently had jumped on the first train into the city after they'd gotten the news. Shed expected that. And a message later they'd told her they were staying at the downtown Milo inn and would be coming by tomorrow (today) to try and see her. She typed out a quick response. Telling them she was awake and that the doctor wanted to look her over and that she would text them when she could have visitors. Slowly she began to look through the other texts, several from other family members and a dozen or so from coworkers and fellow cops. (Half of them seeming to be from clawhauser) opening her internet app Judy scanned through the recent headlines. Just as she'd expected, there WAS an article about her and Nick's attack.

Quickly scanning the article Judy sighed. The article didn't say anything she didn't already know. It mentioned the attack, how someone had thrown a bottle at them. (Though the article assumed it was because they had been police) how Nick had been injured and was in critical condition. Her stomach clenched with worry at that. And how she was injured but recovering. Nothing about any progress that had been made. The chief had given a statement. But it was what she'd expected. He was angered by the attack and how they would track down the assailants and prosecute them to the fullest extent of the law.

A few minutes later the door opened and a warderly, a tall hyena brought in her food. He smiled at her as he set the food down. “enjoy.”

She smiled politely back. “thanks.” putting her phone away she began to eat. It was a bit tricky, each bite she took and chewed made her stitches flex and shift slightly as she ate. She forced herself to move slow, taking small manageable bites until the entire bowl of cereal was gone. Soon the plate of buttered toast was empty too. It wasn't as good as the toast Nick made. Well ok, nothing could beat his warm butter with honey toast. But this hadn't been to bad. She'd just begin to move around a little when the doctor returned. Smiling at her empty dishes. “good. Your appetite is back. That's very good.”

She nodded as he moved into the room. “it feels good to eat something.”

The doctor nodded. “good. Now. Let's take a look at those stitches.” as the doctor spoke a nurse, a wolf walked in behind him, Carrying a small tray of medical utensils which she set on a small table next to Judy's bed as the doctor moved around to look at her closer.

“sooo….. what are you looking for?” she was rambling mostly, doing her best to distract herself from the fact that the doctor was staring at her so intently. The doctor shifted, sitting sideways on the bed before leaning in to…

_Oh sweet cheese and crackers_

She bit her lip, nervously trying to look anywhere other than at the doctor who was only a few inches away from her face. It felt like his gaze was boring into her. Like-

“it's called scopophobia.”

She blinked at him. “what?”

The doctor smiled and shrugged. “your dislike of people being this close and looking at you. It's not as uncommon as you may think. lots of people have it, especially around doctors. But I promise, I need to get this close to do my job. Ok?”

She nodded. She knew that was true. But still, she couldn't help but fidget as he leaned in closer. “h-how do they… look.”

She was babbling again, trying to distract herself. The doctor spoke after a moment. “they look ok. Can I touch your head for a moment?”

She bit her lip but nodded, he was just doing his job. But that didn't stop her heartbeat from jumping several beats as his fingers touched her face, slowly turning and manipulating it. “hmmm. It looks pretty good. We need to be sure to keep the area ventilated and clean. But it looks like it will heal nicely. You'll probably have a few scars. But nothing to dramatic.”

After a moment the doctor turned to the nurse. “please check on Ms Hopps's stitches every 6 hours. Make sure they stay dry and clean.” the wolf nodded and the doctor turned to look at her. “are you in any pain?”

She shook her head. “not really. Just when I move that side of my face. Kinda stings then.”

The doctor nodded. “we can offer you something for the discomfort. Nothing to strong, just enough to take the edge off.”

She considered the offer for a moment before again shaking her head. “no thanks. It's not that bad right now.”

The doctor smiled. “ok. But if it starts to hurt please tell us. We can help manage the pain. Ok?”

She nodded and the doctor stood up. “do you feel up for getting out of bed for a bit? Nothing strenuous, maybe just a little walk around the floor?”

She bit her lip. “can I see Nick?”

The doctor sighed. “not yet. He's being looked over by some of my colleagues. They want to be sure he's still on the right track to get better, but soon. I promise.”

She bit her lip but nodded. The doctor looked at her for a moment. “I know its hard. But I promise, this is for his own good. He needs time to heal and rest. And the drugs in his system means even after he wakes up he's gonna be out of it for several days. So it's not like he's going anywhere. Unlike you. Now come along, I believe there are some people here who would like to walk with you.”

As the doctor spoke he gestured to the nurse who smiled and opened the door, revealing…

“Judy!” Her parents rushed into the room, quickly hurrying to her side. “we got a call from your boss saying you'd been attacked and… oh Judy you poor thing.”

She smiled weakly at them, trying not to move her face in a way that would make it twinge. “mom, dad.” she hugged them both, noting the look her mother gave her as she turned, bringing the twisted stitched up side of her face into closer view.

“Judy…. Oh god… that looks…. Gods…. Does…. Does it hurt?”

She shook her head. “not really. Twinges sometimes, but it doesn't really hurt. Nick…. Got it worse…. A lot worse. He was in surgery for a really long time.”

She watched as her father bit his lip. “i'm sure he'll be ok Judy. He's tough. It'll just take time.”

Her mom patted her leg gently. “i'm sure he'll be better in no time.”

She nodded. They were trying to help, she knew that, and in a way she appreciated that. But at the same time, knowing more about how Nick was doing would make her feel much better than everyone’s blind attempts to make her feel better. after a few moments her father spoke. “the doctor said we could walk with you for a bit. Just around the hospital. Would that be ok?”

She nodded again. Getting out of this bed sounded great. Slowly she got up, noting that someone had changed her out of the clothes she'd been wearing before and into a standard set of hospital patient pants and shirt. For a moment that made her pause, the idea of someone touching, moving her, even if it was just to help…

She bit her lip, doing her best to push those thoughts away. No, no the people here are professionals and her old clothes were certainly not something she should still be wearing. No doubt they were covered in blood and glass. But still… even as she slowly got down off the bed; she couldn't help but shiver in a way that had nothing to do with the loss of blankets and everything to do with the idea of someone touching and moving her while she'd been unconscious. Carefully she put her feet on the floor, holding onto the side of the bed for a moment. It felt odd. After having been in bed for the last several hours, it felt like her reflexes and perception was slightly off. Like she was moving partially in slow motion. Her parents moved to her sides, allowing her to use them for support as she slowly made her way towards the door to the room and out into the hallway beyond.

“how do you feel hunny?” the tone of concern in her mother's voice was almost palpable. A tone she hadn't heard since she'd broken her arm when she'd been 12.

“im… ok. Just not moving fast. Everything feels kinda… fuzzy. Like i'm walking on foam.”

Her parents gave each other worried looks. “is that normal?”

She shrugged gently, noting that as she did the her head seemed to sway oddly for a moment. “n-not sure. Doctors had me on some strong stuff when they brought me in. Probably still a little bit in my system. We can mention it to him later if need be.” Again her parents looked at each other. She could practically feel their worry for her. And while she knew it was out of love, she found herself not wanting to talk about herself at that moment. “so, how's things back home? Did the crops turn out good this year? Anyone come to visit?”

Her plan worked and soon her parents were telling her about the recent harvest of crops and how one of her cousins was going to have a litter and-

She was grateful for their ramblings. Even if she wasn't listening, the dull sound of their voices somehow felt comforting to her. In truth she was still worried about Nick. The doctor kept telling her he was ok. But… she would feel a lot better when she could see him. She bit her lip as she recalled the injuries the doctor had described. Glass shards in his spine and skull. She could only imagine how bad that was. And the doctor had said almost everyone with these kinds of injuries had some kind of side effects from them. Would Nick have side effects? Would they be minor, something he could just ignore. Or would they be severe? Would he have to leave the force? Would they cripple him for the rest of his life?

That thought made her freeze, her parents stopping suddenly with her. “Judy? Honey what's wrong?”

She bit her lip, turning to look at her parents. _Tell them. Tell them you're engaged to Nick. That you don't care if they approve. TELL THEM._ “Im ok. Just… worried about Nick.”

Both her parents looked at each other before looking to her. “you really care about him, huh?”

Her father's voice was gentle. She nodded. “yeah. He… he's my…” _fiance. He's your fiance! TELL THEM!_  “...my best friend.”

Her father chuckled. “never thought id see the day to be honest. After everything a fox did to you as a child. But… i'm glad to be wrong.”

She smiled weakly at her dad. Stu Hopps admitting he was wrong? She'd have to write the bunny borough Gazette. On her other side her mom spoke softly. “hun, did you wanna keep walking or go back to your room?”

She bit her lip, trying to answer that question. Im truth she wanted to keep walking. The idea of going back to her room and being alone was not appealing. But at the same time she was starting to feel tired, and no doubt by the time they got back to her room she'd be exhausted.

As if they knew what she was thinking her dad spoke again. “we can stay with you for a bit. Even if you fall asleep.”

She smiled weakly at them both. “thanks. I'd like that.”

They both smiled at her, before slowly helping her to turn around and make her way back to her room. Thankfully someone, probably a nurse had brought in a small portable flight of stairs, so rather than have to climb back up the side of the bed, she was able to simply walk up before laying back down under the covers. She groaned as she seemed to sink into the mattress a bit. Had the bed been this soft this morning? Next to her she heard her mom's voice. “rest Judy. We'll be here for a while. I promise.”

She barely had the sense to nod before.sleep took her

 

\-----

 

_She'd learned things about Nick while living with him. Things she'd not expected. She'd learned that he could cook. Not a super huge range of things, but more than she'd expected. Several times she'd awoken to find him in his boxers (or sometimes less) in the small makeshift kitchen they'd setup, humming to himself as he made them breakfast._

_Other things had been been less pleasant. One night a storm had hit, with lighting and thunder ripping through the night sky. He'd practically cowered under the bed, his eyes closed and his hands over his ears, shaking in fear. That night she'd held him, both of them sleeping under the bed. Her heart had clenched painfully as with each clap of thunder he'd shook in fear._

_She'd learned he ADORED having his back scratched. Often times freezing whatever he was doing if she came up behind him and started scratching his back. Something she had used to her advantage a few times._

_And she'd learned he wasn't without scars. Both physically and mentally. His deep worry that he wasn't good enough for her and that shed leave him if he screwed up in even the smallest of ways being almost as solid as the burn scar on the back of his leg from when from when a scalding hot length of a steampipe had touched him._

 

_They..._

\-----

 

“Mmmm.” She groaned weakly as her dream began to evaporate. She tried to resist, to keep hold of the dream where she and Nick were laying in bed together, his hand gently running through her fur as he hummed softly to her. But the harder she tried the faster the dream faded, and all to soon her eyes opened, and she found herself back in the hospital room without him. She blinked slowly, looking around the slightly blurry room. As her eyes fell on the chairs next to her bed she found that her mother was there, reading a book while her father seemed to be gone. At the sound of her graon her mom looked up, smiling at her as she marked her spot and closed her book.

“Hey sweety.”

She smiled weakly. “Hey... mom... where’s dad?”

Her mom smiled. “He stepped out to get some food. You’ve been asleep for a few hours now.” as she spoke Bonnie moved, stepping off the chair and over to the bed. “How do you feel?”

Judy groaned again. She felt… heavy. Like gravity was pulling extra strongly on her or perhaps she was moving underwater. “Im… ok. What time is it?”

“Almost one in the afternoon. Honey… I was thinking. Maybe… when you and Nick are better… and can go home… why don't you both come and stay with us out in the country for a bit? Being away from the city might do you both some good. Help you to relax and recover.”

She liked that idea. It would certainly be more relaxing that if they stayed here in the city. And the one time Nick had come to visit, before they'd been a couple; he'd seemed to enjoy it. “ok. I'll mention it to Nick when he's up.”

Her mom smiled and nodded before her expression changed a little. “Judy… can I ask you something? While your father is gone.” She frowned at her mom. Not once had her mom EVER asked if she could ask something. After a few seconds her mom continued. “um… you and Nick… seem… close… um… I… how c-”

But Bonnie's words ended as the door to the room opened. The doctor had returned, Judy's father trailing behind him. “ah, Ms Hopps. Good to see you awake. I have some good news.”

She looked at the doctor. “w-what?”

The doctor smiled at her. “you're free to visit Mr wilde now if you wish. I've spoken with his doctors and they feel he's stable enough.”

Her eyes widened. “really? I can see Nick?”

The doctor nodded. “he's still unconscious mind you. Will be for probably another few hours. But, if you wanted to wait for him to wake up; that would be alright.” She felt a huge wave of relief wash through her. Her doctor turned to her parents. “unfortunately I can only allow for one visitor at a time with Mr wilde so-”

Judy's dad nodded. “its ok.” he turned to Judy. “we'll go back to the hotel and let the family know that you're… ok.”

She couldn't help but notice how her father's eyes flickered towards the scarred and stitched side of her face as she spoke. But she ignored it, the urge to see Nick was to strong. “ok. I'll let you know when you can come back.”

They both nodded, giving her quick hugs. As her mom did so Judy could see the look on her face, how her mom was not done with the question she'd hoped to ask. As her parents left the room she looked to the doctor. “Thanks for letting them in to see me.”

The doctor nodded. “Of course. Now, come along.”

She did as he instructed, allowing him to guide her out of the room and down the hallway to the elevators. As they stepped inside the doctor began to speak again. “I do feel the need to… warn you Ms Hopps. Your partner’s injuries were severe. As a precaution we have him connected to a few different machine. I need to stress that Ms Hopps. They’re for precaution.”

She nodded, mentally preparing herself for whatever she might find. The elevator began to climb, taking them up several floors before dining open. The first thing she saw was the floor designation sign. The words ‘INTENSIVE CARE AND OBSERVATION’ meeting her gaze, making her stomach twist nervously. But she remained silent as she followed the doctor, allowing herself to be guided down the hallway and to a door, which the doctor opened before stepping through and-

She wasn't exactly sure what she’d expected. She’d known it was going to be bad. The doctor’s warnings had helped her to try and prepare herself but....

Slowly she moved into the room, barely hearing as the doctor spoke. “I'll… give you both some privacy.”

She didn't hear the door close, her entire being focused on the scene in front of her. Nick was laying in a bed similar to her own. The while back of his head was wrapped in bandages and gauze, and even as she slowly stepped forward she could smell the faint traces of blood, his blood; Nick’s blood. The machines the doctor had told her about were obvious. A heart rate monitor like she’d been connected to when she’d first woken up. And…

She watched as Nick’s chest slowly rose, the machine next to the bed letting out a soft woosh as it forced air into his lung through the hose than ran between the machine and down into Nick’s nose. _Oh god…_

She was standing next to him now, and up close just made him look that much worse. The bandages weren’t just on his head. They dove down past his head and neck vanishing just behind his shoulders. The smell of his blood was almost enough to make her gag. His head hung limply to one side, his expression completely empty and blank. It was so different. So impossibly different from all those times she’d watched him sleep.slowly she reached out, her hands gently touching one of his, running along the soft fur and pads. And suddenly it hit her, as if she’d been the one struck head on by the bottle. This was Nick, her fiance, the fox she loved and wanted to spend the rest of her life with. This was him, laying her in this hospital bed.

“No… no… no....” she touched his hand to her face. Running his fingers across her uninjured cheek; mirroring the movement he’d don countless times to her. her mind struggled to make sense of everything. This couldn't be Nick. It COULDN'T be. Nick was indestructible, he laughed at the face of danger and always seemed to come out on top. This couldn't.... It couldn't… “oh gods…. Nick…. Oh gods….” tears were welling up in her eyes. It had happened. It was real. The best moment of their lives had become a nightmare. After everything they’ done for the city. After the lives they’d saved and the people they’d helped. She pressed his hand to her lips, kissing the red fur softly, willing him to wake up right then and there. To smile at her, to tell her some god awful and wildly inappropriate joke or… or… or to say that… he....

“You… you have to… come back… do you hear me? Are you listening Nicholas Piberius Wilde?” she used his full name. Something she never did unless he was in trouble. “You have to wake up and come back to me. You can't… you can't ask me to marrying you and then get off easy like this.” the tears were flowing down her face now, her hands shook as she continued to press his hand against her cheek. “You have to get out of this bed and make good on your promise. You… you… you....” she felt dizzy now. Like the room was spinning. But she clung to is hand, to that small tiny little connection. The only connection she had to him right now. “I love you. I love you so much you dumb beautiful fox.” the silence of the room was deafening. It pressed in around her like some kind of horrible monster. In that moment she would have given anything; ANYTHING to have heard his voice. To hear him laugh, to hear him call her an emotional bunny.

“N..Nick… oh gods…. I’m sorry…. I’m so so….so sorry.” She’d convinced him to do this. To join the police force. To be an example to everyone that foxes could be trusted. That if she and he worked together they could change the way people thought about others. And in the end nothing had changed. The city still regarded foxes as degenerates and criminals. Still hated interspecies couples. And in that single moment, in the greatest moment of their entire lives the city had shown it’s true self. Nothing had changed. Not the people, not the city, not the festering boiling hatred that had lingered after the nighthowler incident. But instead of her, instead of the person it should have hurt… it had been him. “ImsorryImsorryImsorryImsorryImsorry”

She was moving now, not consciously but as if she were in a trance. Slowly she crawled onto the bed next to him, pressing her face against his shoulder as more tears fell from her eyes. She clung to him, her hands grabbing fistfulls of the blankets as if she grab him and drag him back to her through force of will alone. “Nick… please…. Please… i need you. I can't… i can't… i can't be alone… not after… please… please wake up.”

 

The only response she got was the faint woosh of the machine as it filled Nick’s lungs once more.


	3. Wasting Away

_They both loves lazy days. A day where they could lounge around. Watch tv, take a nice long hot bath, cuddle; all while not wearing pants or sometimes any clothes at all. Those were the best days._

_Judy groaned softly as she felt Nick’s fingers work, gently rubbing and massaging the pads of her toes before…_

_“Mmmmmm.”_

_Nick grinned at her. “like that?”_

_She nodded. “yeeees. Gods you give the best foot rubs.”_

_Nick grinned. “only the best for my bunny.”_

_She couldn't help but smile. His bunny. HIS BUNNY. She was his bunny. It was still so crazy to her. A month ago she'd been desperately secretly in love with him. And now…_

_“Nick?”_

_He looked at her. “yeah carrots?”_

_She smiled at him. “I love you.”_

_He smiled back, stopping his rubbing so he could bring her foot to his lips in a gentle tender kiss. “love you to Judy.”_

 

_\---------_

 

Slowly her eyes opened. The sight of Nick's sleeping face came into view, the same as it had been when she'd fallen asleep last night. She groaned softly, glancing out the window of Nick's room. Daylight was just starting to peek through the blinds. It Couldn't have been more than 6 or 7am. she groaned as she slowly sat up, looking around hers and Nick’s room. In a small way it helped, being in the same room as him. Even if he was unconscious.... Still. It did help. It helped knowing he was nearby. It helped that she could literally look over from her bed and see him, even if he couldn't look back. It really helped being able to sneak over to his bed at night. They’d spent so long sharing a bed that somehow sleeping on her own felt… wrong now.

Of course the nurses were all talking about it. She’d overheard them whispering once or twice, her large ears making it VERY easy for her to make out her name and “with a fox.”

It wasn't exactly a secret she had tried hard to keep. That first day when she’d been allowed to see Nick; when the doctor had returned and said it was time for her to go back to her room… she’d thrown a fit. An actual tantrum like a little child. She’d screamed and bellowed at them, refusing to let them take her away from his side. When the doctor had threatened to have her sedated she’d almost lost it. She’d practically punched him as she fleng her hand out to show him the ring, screaming at him that she as his fiance and that she wasn't going to be separated from him again. She could still remember the slightly surprised look on the doctor’s face. Behind her the badger nurse had worn a VERY different expression, one of disgust.

The few seconds it had taken the doctor to collect himself had felt like an impossible eternity. But then, he’d calmly asked the nurse to bring her things to Nick’s room and that she would be staying with him from now on; pera the hospital’s policies regarding married or engaged couples. She could almost still hear the nurses objections. “But doctor he’s a…. Fox…. and she’s a…. Rabbit. Its…. Not right.”

She’d felt anger at the nurse’s statement. Shed actually been about to start yelling again when the doctor had turned to glare at the nurse. Ordering her to either get Judy’s things and bring them here, or leave the floor and find a nurse who could follow instructions. The doctor had tried to apologize for the nurse's comment. She'd told him to ‘save it’ and that she didn't want that nurse to be helping them anymore. The doctor had taken care of it, and she hadn't seen that nurse since. Her mom and dad had come back to visit, both of then slightly surprised to find that she'd been moved to Nick's room. She'd told them.a little white lie, saying it was hospital policy not to separate partners once both were cleared. Luckily the doctor had played along and her parents had accepted that answer. She didn't like lying to them. But… at the same time she just wasn't ready to tell them about her and Nick yet. She wanted him there when it was time. She wanted to be able put her hand in his and tell her parents that Nick Wilde, a fox; was her fiance. For them to understand, that she was sure of this.

But that hope seemed to get a little further away each day. It had been three days now. Three days since he'd proposed, three days since they'd been attacked. Each day was the same. She'd wake up laying next to him, silently watching him, praying that his perfect green eyes would look at her. But they hadn't yet, and each morning when the doctor's came to examine him they'd say the things. That he was lucky to be alive. That the surgery had gone as well as they could have hoped for. That it would take time for him to wake up. And then they'd leave her alone to watch over him. And for the day she'd stare at him. Hoping, praying, willing him to wake up; to come back to her. And at the end of day he'd still be the same, and she'd crawl into bed next to him. She'd hold his arm and stroke his hand and say that she loved him. It was all she could do.

On the fourth day their friends from the precinct came back. Thankfully the doctor let her know they were coming, otherwise they might have walked in on one of her weaker moments. On one of those times when everything overwhelmed her and tears would cascade down her face as her sides shook. But she managed to pull herself together. To put on a mask and talk  them. Listen to them talk about the office. About how everyone was thinking of them. How they were working every possible thread and lead they had to find who had attacked them. In a way it was a pleasant distraction, it gave her something to focus on. But it felt wrong, without Nick it felt like they were missing someone.

The fifth day her parents came back. They spent a few hours with her. Everyone in the family was praying for her and Nick. Her dad added the last part slightly unconvincingly. She had no doubt her family knew about Nick being injured, it was if they were praying for him that she  doubted. Not that they disliked him but….

They again offered for her and Nick to come stay with them out in the country while they recovered and again she accepted their offer. And again she kept silent about her and Nick.

The sixth day she decided to get out of the room. she went down to the hospital cafeteria for food. She'd taken barely three steps when she heard some nurses whispering. “that's her. The one engaged to the fox.” “disgusting.” “how does he kissing her without eating her?” for a moment she felt like she might explode at them. But she'd heard Nick's voice in her head. _Don't ever let them see that they get you._ She'd gotten her food and gone back to the room. She hadn't returned since.

The seventh day was almost impossible. She couldn't bring herself to leave his side. A week, seven days, 168 hours, 10,080 minutes, 604,800 seconds; that's how long she'd gone without hearing his voice. It was like torture. She wanted to scream, to shake him, to promise to do any number of perverted things he'd teased her about, to do SOMETHING to make him wake up. But she couldn't bring herself to move. She spent the whole day next to him, the pain in her heart feeling as if she was the one who'd been hit by the bottle.

The eighth day she broke. One of the nurses from the cafeteria came in, asking if she needed anything. Acting as if she hadn't said those horrible things about them days ago. She'd lost it, screaming at the nurse to get out. That she was a horrible miserable bitch who should just go die. To her credit the nurse hadn't yelled back or started crying; she simply turned around and left the room without saying a word.

On the ninth day she had the thought. The horrible sickening thought. The thought that made her shake with fear. It made her cling to his hand as tears fell down her face. The thought that Nick might never wake up. That she'd be without him forever.

On the tenth day she’d prayed. Not half heartedly as before but truly, honestly. Closing her eyes as she'd seen some of her older aunts and uncles do. She'd never been religious before. Not that she was against it, she just never thought about it. But now…

“please… please….” her voice shook as she tried to keep her tears back. “please don't… please don't take him. Please. Don't take him away from me. Please… ple-” that was all she could manage before she'd dissolved into tears.

The next day she'd overheard the doctor talking to a colleague in hushed tones about her. The words ‘inconsolable’, ‘antidepressants’ and ‘psychological evaluation’ reaching her ears. Not that she cared. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered. Until he woke up there was nothing that mattered to her.

 

\-------

 

_“it's just for a few days Nick. You'll be fine.”_

_She squirmed in his grip as he pulled her back onto the bed and away from the travel bag she was packing. “buuuut Judy. I'll be lonely.”_

_He was teasing her… mostly. She'd known him long enough to catch the slight undertone in his voice.  She twisted, looking down at him where he lay. “it's just three days Nick. I have to go home and help mom and dad for a bit.”_

_She watched as he bit his lip. “but what if some studly rabbit tries to sweep you off your feet?”_

_Judy chuckled. “Id punch him. And tell him my foxy lover is all I need.” She expected him to laugh, to keep the joke going. He didn't. Her eyes widened a bit as she watched him new his lip a nervous kind of chuckle leaving his mouth. “Nick…” she leaned in, resting her forehead against his. “are you worried some buck will try to seduce me?”_

_After a moment he nodded softly. “yes... I'm... Im terrified... actually.”_

_Her heart fluttered as a smile spread across my face. “Oh nick. let me reassure you.” she shifted, laying across his chest while continuing to nuzzle him. “no buck can compare to you. And no one will seduce me away from you. You are the only person I could ever love. Ok?”_

_She watched as he bit his lip but nodded. “ok. I believe you.”_

_She smiles and cuddled in closer to him. Planting a soft kiss on his nose a moment later. “Good. cause it's true. how could anyway steal me away from the perfect fox?”_

 

_\--------_

 

How long had it been? It felt like years. Laying there, in his bed, next to him, praying for some sign of life. She'd stopped answering her phone, and when people had tried to visit she'd told the doctor to send them away. Nothing seemed to matter anymore. She barely ate, barely drank, sleep came in almost manic boughts. Sometimes creeping up on her so suddenly she wasn't even sure if she was awake or dreaming half the time. And with sleep came the dreams. Hazy half formed visions of herself and Nick together, of memories they'd made and of memories she'd hoped to make with him.

Sometimes she'd awake from those dreams, the cold cruel reality smashing into her and bringing her to tears. It had all been a dream, Nick was still unconscious and she was still alone.

 

_\------_

 

_“happy birthday to Judy. Happy birthday to you.” she smiled as he produced a small carrot cake, her favorite; from behind his back. “now blow out the candle and make a wish.”_

_She raised an eyebrow at him. “that's pretty sappy Nick. You sure you're the fox I met selling pawcicles?”_

_Nick stuck out his tongue at her. “well if you don't want it…”_

_He moved, bringing the came up to his mouth as his tongue came out to-_

_“Nonononono I want it!”_

_He smirked at her as he offered her the cake and glowing candle again. Smiling at him she made a wish, leaning forward to blow out the candle._

_“so what did you wish for?”_

_She smirked at him. “not telling.”_

 

_\-------_

 

“please Nick… please wake up. Please. I need you to wake up.” she knew he wouldn't respond. He hadn't any other time, why would he now? It was desperate, a stupid, and pointless and hopeless. No matter what she did, no matter what any of them did Nick remained asleep. The doctors had come in a few times, running tests on Nick and his condition. He wasn't in a coma, he wasn't a vegetable, he wasn't brain dead, he wasn't paralysed. The list of things he wasn't seemed endless, and ultimately useless. None of it told her why he hadn't woken up. Her doctor had tried to speak to her. As he'd checked her stitches and told her they were almost ready to come out. He'd expressed concern that she wasn't taken care of herself, that she was barely eating or drinking, and that she hasn't bathed in several days. She barely heard him speaking. Take care of herself? What did that matter? She could take care of herself when Nick woke up. Until then, why bother? Sure, her body ached. Sure, her head was pounding. Sure sometimes she felt lightheaded and faint. And sure, some days it took all of her strength to just reach out the hold his hand. But what did that matter? What did her discomfort matter when he was laying there, dead to her and the world?

 

_\------_

 

_She moaned softly as she lay back against his chest, the hot water of the bath soothing her sore and aching muscles. Work had been hard today, literally chasing criminals all around the warehouse district. She was pretty sure her feet were blistered._

_Behind her Nick groaned too. “gods I thought today would never end.”_

_She nodded in agreement. “I know. Im exhausted.”_

_She leaned back, allowing her head to lay back against the crook of his neck and shoulder. She took a deep breath, her nose tingling slightly as his natural sweaty musk mingled and mixed with the flowery bubble bath smell and the faintly citrus oils. “this bath is amazing.”_

_He smiled and held her softly. “glad you approve. I figured we could both use it.”_

_She nodded, groaning softly as his hands ran through her fur. She loved that about him. How thoughtful and considerate he could be. That_ _attitude had helped her through some rough times. And now…_

_She groaned again as the warm bath worked its way into her tense muscles._

_“love you carrots.”_

 

_\------_

 

Weakly she opened her eyes, her vision was blurry and it seemed to take a strangely long time for it to clear. He was still there, still unconscious,  still-

 

\-------

 

_“Judy?” She blinked at the sound of the voice. “Judy.”_

_She turned, her eyes widening as-_

_“Nick!” She flung herself at him, her arms shaking as they wrapped around his chest in a vice like hug. He returned the hug, his grip softer, less desperate than hers. She buried her face against his chest, tears falling down her face as she clung to him._

_“Judy what are you doing?”_

_She looked up at him. He was looking at her, worry and fear covering his face. She tried to speak, her words coming out in pained sobs. “I… I… Nick… I can't… I miss you so much.”_

_He continued to look at her with concern.  “Judy, your killing yourself.”_

_She blinked at him. “what?”_

_Nick sighed softly. “Judy. It's been days since you ate or drank anything. You haven't bathed in a week. You're not talking to your family or friends. Its like you died, but you're wasting away.”_

_She shook her head. “Nick… I… I can't… I can't keep going without you. I NEED you.”_

_Nick held her a little tighter. “I know. I need you too. But, if I wake up just as you die then everything will be for nothing.”_

_She bit her lip, her eyes starting to water with tears again. After a moment she pressed her face against his chest again. “I miss you so much Nick. I'm so so sooooo sorry. This is all my fault.”_

_Nick shifted, his hand gently stroking her head. “so emotional, you bunnies. Listen,” she felt his hand come up, touching her chin and lifting her head so she was looking at him. “Judy,” gently he wiped the tears from her eyes. “this was not your fault. It was an act of chaos. No one could have foreseen it or stopped it. You are not to blame. It doesn't change anything. I still love you.”_

_He leaned down, gently pressing his lips to her in a soft kiss. She'd forgotten how right it felt. The way his lips felt against hers. The way his breath tickled the side of her neck. The way her lungs filled with his scent and made her tail twitch and heart flutter. When they broke apart she let out a soft whine. Above her Nick smiled. “I love you Judy Hopps. I promise, i'll come back to you. But I need you to be alive when I wake up. Ok?”_

_She nodded clinging to him desperately. “ok. I will be, I promise.”_

_Nick smiles and again patted her head. “good. Now Judy,  I need you to wake up. Ok? wake up. I need y-_

 

_\----------_

 

“ou to wake up <s Hopps.”

She groaned weakly, the sudden weight of reality pressed in around her. She could feel someone touching her, moving her arm and then-

She hissed weakly as she felt a slight pinch of pain. Cookness spread from the pinch. A light airy coolness that made her groan softly at the pleasant sensation. With a great deal of effort she managed to half open her eyes. She could see blurry figures moving around her, while one of them was leaning over her. She groaned again trying to move. Her bed felt like it was weighed down by lead, her arms and legs refused to move. Even her eyes felt like they was 10 pounds heavier than usual. Her head swam with a sensation of dizziness. She could feel it, unconsciousness drifting up to claim her. She was helpless, unable to resist or struggle as it grabbed her and pulled her down with it.


	4. Dependancies and Numbness

She bit her lip, fidgeting nervously. _He's a doctor.  He needs to do this._ She repeated those lines over and over to herself.  She knew were true. But… her skin still crawled as she watched him lean in closer to her, his tools coming up to her face.

“almost done Ms Hopps. I promise.” She remained silent nodding instead before closing her eyes. That helped a bit, but she still shuddered as she felt his tools touch the side of her face. She forced herself to breath, to stay calm as she felt the doctor pull her skin taught for a moment before another tool brushed her face. A soft ‘snip’ reaching her ears a second later. Just as with the 61 other times she felt her muscles tense slightly as the doctor carefully pulled out the thread from her skin. “there. All done.”

She opened her eyes, watching as the doctor sat back in his chair as he dropped the last stitch into a small metal bowl with the others he'd removed. Nervously Judy moved slightly, flexing her jaw experimentally.  Before with the stitches in, if she moved her jaw to much the stitches would tighten, making the side of her face twinge in pain. Now though, no twinges hit her. Instead an odd feeling of soreness reached her. Along with a strange sensation of coolness. In front of her the doctor offered her a small mirror. “thanks.”

He nodded, letting her take the mirror and move it into position. The side of her face was still scared but it wasn't nearly as bad as it was before. And now with the stitches removed, she looked almost normal. A few of the deeper cuts had left permanent damage to her fur. The scar tissue being to dense for fur to grow through it, leaving those strips of skin clearly exposed. Other scars were not so dense, just enough to make the pattern in her fur appear slightly less thick. It didn't look to bad actually. Nick would probably think it looked cool.

“you seem to be doing better Ms Hopps.”

She looked away from the mirror, watching as the doctor began to pack up his equipment.  “t-thanks”

It had been three days since the doctors had connected her to an IV drip. It had taken almost a full day for her to regain any kind of strength, and another half day before she was able to get out of bed. The doctors and nurses had watched her closely then, checking in with her every half hour or so. She managed to eat a little food. Just some dry toast and a little water. This morning she’d left the room for the first time in almost… two weeks. Gods had it really been that long?

“you know,” she blinked turning her attention to the doctor once more. “i'm curious. Do you know what a dependency is Ms Hopps?”

She nodded. “yeah. When someone needs something.”

The doctor nodded. “that's one version yes. But people can also develop emotional dependencies to other people. I bring this up because… your recent change in behavior is… alarming to me. As your doctor it is my job to make sure you're healthy. But… that has not been the case. To be frank Ms Hopps, you appeared to be falling apart mentally without Mr Wilde. And that concerns me.”

She bit her lip. How could she explain what she felt? Or why it had affected her so strongly. “Doc, have you ever loved someone?”

The doctor nodded. “i'm married. Have been for the last six years.”

Judy nodded. “another cheetah?”

The doctor shook his head. “leopard. Why?”

Judy sighed. “when I was growing up… I was told all foxes were shifty and untrustworthy, always up to no good. And then when I came here my first few encounters with Nick just reinforced those feelings. But then he opened up to me, told me something… horrible, almost beyond words that had been done to him. And how it made him basically give up on even hoping to be anything other than the shifty fox everyone else assumed he was.. including me at first. And despite that, he helped me save the city. He joined the police force and has been working to try and change people's opinions. He was my best and closest friend for over a year. And when I stupidly confessed my feelings one drunken night. He didn't reject me. But he also didn't jump at the chance either. He chose to woo me, to do things properly. And the whole time he knows the city barely tolerates interspecies couples. But we're… a predator and prey couple. But he still dated me and moved in with me and… and then he proposed. He basically told the entire city to fuck off. That he didn't care what they thought or felt because he loved me.” as she spoke she looked down at the gold ring still on her finger. “so yeah… i'm dependant on him. And without him… it's like my world is upside down and backwards.”

The doctor nodded. “fair enough. But Ms Hopps, there has to be a line. If you cannot function without Mr Wilde, if you fall apart without him; that is not healthy. I think it might be healthy for you to talk to someone about it. A professional.”

She looked at him. “a shrink?”

The doctor nodded. “yes Ms Hopps. I understand that Mr Wilde is important to you. Its one reason why i've insisted you and he be allowed to recover in the same room. Despite the hospitals… concerns. But you must  prepare yourself for the very real possibility that Mr Wilde will not be the same as he once was when he wakes up. If he cannot provide you with the same reassurances he once could, you may spiral out of control again. I cannot order you to see a psychiatrist. But I can STRONG recommend it.”

She bit her lip. “I… ok doc. I'll think about it.”

The doctor nodded. “good. Now, why don't you go for a small walk? the nurses will need time to clean and change Mr Wilde's bandages and unfortunately I cannot allow you into the room while they do so.”

She nodded slowly getting to her feet. “doc?” He looked at her. For a moment she remained silent trying to collect her courage to ask the question. “it's not a good sign, that he's been out for this long. Is it?”

The doctor sighed deeply. “do you really want me to answer that Ms Hopps?”

She bit her lip. Did she? She was pretty sure she knew the answer,  but still in the back of her mind was hope. Hope that the doctor would say it didn't mean anything. After a few moments she shook her head. “no. Nevermind.”

The doctor nodded and returned to his equipment. Leaving the room Judy moved down the hallway passing several nurses and rooms with other patients. The wait for the elevator was painfully slow but thankfully she was alone when the doors opened and she stepped inside. Going for a walk sounded like a good idea. She'd learned the hospital had a small gym on one of the upper floors. And the doctor was right. the few times the nurses had changed Nick's bandages before she hadn't been allowed to watch. So something to occupy her mind and time would be good. Pressing the button labeled gym Judy waited as the elevator slowly lifted her. Absentmindedly she flexed her face. It felt odd not having the stitches in anymore. No odd bad, just odd. Slowly she brought her paw up to the injured side of her face. she could feel the changes in her fur, her fingers slowly tracing a scar where no fur grew anymore. It was better than she'd expected it to be. But still…

The doors to the elevator dinged open, pulling her from her thoughts and prompting her to step out. In front of her a young female lama sat behind a smell desk but smiled as she stepped into the room. “welcome. Please sign in.” as she spoke the lama held out a clipboard with a sheet of paper attached to it. Stepping forward Judy signed her name, watching as the lama set the clipboard down and gesturing to her right and a glass door. “enjoy the gym.”

Moving through the glasss door Judy found herself standing on a large balcony with several pieces of exercise equipment for various species. Beyond the balcony a set of stairs led down to what appeared to be a moderately sized circular running track. She headed that way. Running had always been relaxing to her, even when she'd been in school. Nick had said she was very cute when they'd run together around the block. And now it seemed like a great time to run again.

 

\-----------

 

An hour later she returned to the room, her fur slightly dampened from the sweat of her jogging. It had felt good to run again. It had given her a way to work off a little bit of stress as well as give her time to think. the doctor might have had a point. Nick might not be the same when he woke up, at the very least she should have someone she could talk to. Someone who was trained to pawle issues she or he might have. Sighing to herself she paused to look at Nick who showed no signs of waking up. Part of her wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed next to him and not do anything for the rest of the day.  But… she'd promised him she'd take care of herself and right now, that meant a shower to wash her workout away.

Stepping into the bathroom Judy pulled a new set of clothes sealed in plastic from the shelf where a dozen had been set out. Closing the door and locking it she stripped down, shivering slightly as the last of her clothes fell away. Pausing for a moment to allow the water in the shower to warm up Judy glanced at her reflection in the bathroom mirror.  She was thinner than she was normally, but not in a good way. Her waist had shrunk, making her ribs appear a bit more defined through her fur. Her fur was maybe a little less lush and thick than it normally was. Certainly it didn't have the faint sheen it normally did. Stepping into the shower she groaned as the warm water washed over her, carrying her troubles away for a moment.

 

\--------

 

_“N-n-niiiick… we're supposed to be getting ready for work.” She groaned weakly as his claws worked through her fur, occasionally brushing against the skin of her stomach as he did so. Behind her he chuckled._

_“i'm trying carrots, but… its hard.” she bit her lip, willing herself not to moan as his paws drifted upwards, cupping and massaging her chest. “you're just so…. Tempting.”_

_She tried to respond but her voice turned into a moan as his fingers brushed over her nipples making her shiver. She groaned again, this time at the feeling of something slipping between her thighs, something warm and thick that made her legs squeeze together out of pur instinct. “Niiiick...”_

_He chuckled into her ear. “caaaarots.”_

_She bit her lip, shuddering as the tingles of arousal began to flicker through her body.  Curse him for being so persuasive. “maybe… we can…. Be…. A few minutes….late.”_

_He purred into her ear in response._

 

\---------

 

Stepping out of the shower Judy wrapped the towel around her body. It felt good to be clean again, as if weight had been lifted off her mind. He moved, grabbing another towel and starting to dry he-

“mmmmmm.”

She blinked at the sound. A groan? Where would a groan be coming from? True it felt good to be clean again but-

“mmmm.”

A second later her eyes widened as a bolt of recognition shit through her. With a jolt she practically ripped the door to the bathroom open. Her heart was hammering in her chest as she ran from the bathroom. Was it… could it…

“mmm.”

She felt her heart freeze in her chest as in front of her in his bed Nick groaned again. His head slowly moved from side to side as he continued to groan softly. She moved as if in a trance, not even caring that her towel had fallen away leaving her naked. Shaking she moved to his side, her paws going to his. “n-n-Nick…” He groaned again, his head shifting in her direction. She squeezed his paw softly speaking a bit louder.“Nick.”

The next few seconds felt like the longest years of her life. The urge to scream at him, to shake him awake was almost overwhelming. And yet she didn't move, didn't breath. All she could do was hold his paw, hoping and praying and willing more than she'd ever done for in her life. Praying for him to move, or groan, or do something; ANYTHING to show her that he was-

And then he did it. It was small, so soft and gentle and yet… she felt it. Felt his paw squeeze her's back. It was like a bolt of lightning to her heart. He was moving, he was alive, he was… back.

before she knew what she was doing she jammed her finger against the ‘call nurse’ button. Frantically pressing the buttons several times willing them to get her faster with each press.

“j-j-ju-Judy…”

Her breath froze in her chest at the sound of his voice. Her eyes snapped to his and-

It was impossible to describe. The feelings that rushed through her as she saw his beautiful green eyes slowly peek out at her from behind his eyelids. Tears welled up in her eyes, as he groaned. She w-

“whats going on?!”

The door had burst open and a nurse had rushed in. Judy turned, looking to the deer nurse. “Nick's awake!”

 

\--------

 

It was impossible to describe. It was like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. As if she'd finally been able to breath after having held her breath for weeks. As if the one she loved most had come back from the dead. She watched as the doctors moved around him, each of them talking, poking and prodding, running tests on her fox. In the bed Nick moved and responded weakly and after several minutes the other doctors left. Leaving her along with her doctor who turned to look at her with a smile. “everything looks to be ok Ms Hopps. Mr Wilde is weak, but awake. He still needs rest but things are looking much better now that he's awake.”

There is was again. A wave of relief washing through her, making her feel as if she'd let go of a 50 pound weight. “what happens now?”

As she spoke she looked to her fox. He'd fallen asleep again shortly before the tests had finished. His eyes simply drifting closed in the middle of a doctor's question. The doctor shrugged. “now he rests. We'll have the nurses check in on him every few hours. Once he's strong enough, we’ll run some more thorough exams. And then… well, for now let's focus on the fact that he's awake.”

She nodded, allowing the doctor to leave the room. As the door closed behind him she made her way to the bed. He was asleep again. But unlike before she could see signs of life in him. His eyes flickering under his eyelids. His face occasionally twitching softly in response to his dream. He was… alive again. She moved without thinking, Climbing into his bed as she'd done for the last few weeks. Her paws when to his, squeezing it softly. She couldn't describe what she was feeling now. Joy? No that wasn't right, it was too small a word. Happy? That wasn't right either. It was…

 

\--------

 

_He purred softly against her stomach, the vibrations making her giggle. “having fun?”_

_He pressed his face against her tummy nodding. “very much so.”_

_She smiled and ran her paws through the fur between his ears. “why?”_

_He shrugged but kept nuzzling and purring against her stomach. “it feels… right. Like i'm supposed to do it.”_

_She sighed softly.  “you… you know… we cant… I mean…”_

_He looked up at her, his smile calming. “i know carrots. But… i… I still… I like to… pretend…sometimes… I can stop if you'd rather.”_

_She looked at him silently for a minute. She knew he wanted kits. No matter how much he denied it or tried to play it off or said he was ok with not having them. There were clear signs. The way his ears flicked when a kid was nearby. the way he got when they were intimate, a raw intense passion taking over him that made it clear he was trying to breed with her. The way he did this, purring and nuzzling her tummy. She bit her lip softly. “tell me about them?”_

_He blinked at her. “huh?”_

_She ran her fingers through his fur again. “tell me about our pretend kits.”_

_He blinked at her again for a moment before, “well… its a boy and a girl. They're both rabbits but they have my colors. The boy is anthony and the girl is grace. Anthony is big and strong, but a total momma’s boy. Grace is beautiful and sweet… and she loves flowers.”_

_She nodded and ran her paw through his fur, scratching the back of his neck. “you'd be a great father Nick.”_

_She smiled up at her. “i am. But you're still their favorite. Just like with me.”_

 

\----------

 

The day seemed brighter now, laying there in the bed next to him she found herself oddly excited. Was it odd to be excited for your fiance to wake up from being asleep? It sounded odd, but it felt right. It had been two days since he'd first woken up. The first day she'd waited anxiously for his eyes to open. Her mind doing the whole “now… now… NOW… NOW!” thing it sometimes did when she was really excited. But nothing had prepared her for the wave of emotions when they finally had. His green eyes had never looked so beautiful to her. She'd wanted to kiss him, to hug him and tell him how much she'd missed him.

She had kissed him on the cheek, the doctors having rushing in a few moments later to run their tests. And all to soon he'd fallen back asleep again, leaving her to wait till he next opened his eyes. The next time he'd managed to speak, his voice hoarse and raw but still managing a softly “love… you…”

She burst into tears at the words, pressing her face against her shoulder as thick heavy tears of joy and relief escaped her. She'd said those words back to him. Saying them over and over and over and praying he understood how deeply she meant them.

This morning the doctor had come in before Nick had awoken. “i want to give him a small stimulant. Like I gave you when you first woke up. He should be strong enough now.”

She couldn't help but notice the ‘should be’ in that sentence; but he was a doctor and would know more about what was and wasn't a good idea. She watched as the doctor moved to Nick's IV slowly injecting the contents of a syringe into it before stepping back and watching. Judy found herself holding her breath, watching as in front of them Nick began to slowly react. She watched as he groaned softly, his eyes fluttering for several moments. His head moved slowly from side to side and then…

Gods his eyes were beautiful. How had she never realized that before? How many times had she looked into them? How many times had she woken up to find them watching her? Those green orbs were beyond words. Just… perfection. She watched as he blinked slowly, his eyes coming into focus. For several seconds there was silence as both she and the doctor watched him slowly come too. Then, with a raspy and hoarse voice he spoke. “what's… everyone… looking at?”

She bit her lip, trying to keep her emotions in check as she moved to his side while the doctor began to speak. She barely heard what he was saying, her paws going to Nick's as it had done so many times recently. She watched as he looked at her, a look of confusion flickering across his face as he looked at her. She felt the fur on the back of her neck prickle as his look of confusion deepened. His gaze going to hers and his paws. She watched as he looked back up at her, his eyes filled with confusion. “doc…” he spoke over the doctor, his gaze returning to their joined paws. “what kind of pain meds do you have me on?”

The doctor broke off, frowning at him. “um… for now just a basic drug. Nothing to powerful.  Why? Are you not feeling well?”

She felt her heart clench as Nick pulled his paw from hers, flexing his fingers slowly. After a moment he spoke, his voice filled with a fear and confusion she'd never heard before-

“why can't I feel it when Judy touches me?”


	5. 96%

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im sure some of you were hoping i would change this part of the story.  
> sadly no.

The tests came rapid fire, as did the barrage of Doctors and questions, accompaned by dozens if not hundreds of pokes and prods to Nick's body. He did his best to put on a brave  face, to wear his usual mask of casual disinterest. But she could see it, the way his eyes jerked to each Doctor as the spoke. The way he bit his lip as they asked him yet another question. The way his eyes flickered over to her every few minutes or so. He was scared.

For Judy the minutes seemed to tick achingly by, feeling more like hours than the 60 second intervals that they were. She Could still hear his question, his voice repeating over and over and over in her head. He couldn't feel her? When she'd held his paw in hers… he hadn't felt it? How could he not feel it? It was her paw in his paw. She squeezed it and he'd squeezes back. How could he not feel her touch?

Finally their Doctor had had enough, half guiding half pushing the other Doctors out of their room before closing the door behind them. “sorry about that. My colleagues got a little carried away.” as he spoke the Doctor smiled sheepishly at Nick who remained silent.

Slowly Judy moved. Getting down from the chair she'd retreated to as the Doctors had fussed and worked. She moved to his side, her hand reaching for his, only for his hand to move away hers. There was no denying the way her heart clenched painfully at the movement. _No, no don't get upset Judy. He's hurting right now. You can't hold it against him._

“Doc… why can't I feel… anything?”

The Doctor sighed softly. “because Mr Wilde, you appear to have developed a condition called Hypoesthesia.”

Judy shook her head. "I don't understand.  You said his surgery went well.”

The Doctor bit his lip for a moment. "It did, as well as we could have hoped. But please understand… there was glass… in his spine and close to his brain. No one recovers from that without some kind of side or after effects.”

Nick shifted, looking at his hand for a moment. "Is it… permanent?”

The Doctor shook his head sadly. “we don't know yet. For now we need you to rest mr wilde. Later we will run more tests and we'll see just how… extensive your condition is. That will tell us more. Ok?”

No, no it wasn't ‘ok’. Nothing about this was ok! Shed waited weeks for him to wake up and now… now he couldn't feel anything. It wasn't ok! Her mouth opened and closed several times but no words came out. Next to her Nick spoke, his voice calm and collected like it always was. “ok Doc.”

The Doctor looked between then, his expression grim. "I'm sorry. I promise, we'll do everything we can to find out why this happened and if it can be fixed. It's just going to take time.”

Again Nick nodded. "I know Doc.”

The cheetah sighed again, nodding silently before exiting the room leaving Nick and her alone. She looked at him, unsure of what to say or do. Her first instinct was to grab him and pull him into a hug. But the memory of how he'd pulled his hand away from hers was still fresh in her mind. That had hurt, but again she reminded herself he was hurting. He was scared and confused and didn't know what was happening or why. He might not have even noticed he'd done it. It wasn't his fault.

Gods the silence between them was painful, almost as painful as when the glass from the bottle had-

“carrots…” his voice snapped her out of her head, her attention zeroing in on him like a laser. She watched as he fidgeted slightly in his bed, his ears down and his gaze turned to his hands. "I… i…” he looked up at her, and her heart clenched painfully in her chest at his expression. She could see pain, confusion, fear, uncertainty, anger and even cold resignation in her features. "If… you… want out… i'll understand. No hard feelings.”

Want out? what? If she wanted out of...

It dawned on her, like a cold sickening punch to the gut. Colder than any ice bath she'd gone through in the academy. worse than any beating shed ever gotten. Their engagement. He was talking about their engagement and if she wanted out of it. “n-no. Nick I don-”

He cut her off, speaking softly but quickly. "I mean it Judy… its ok. You should be with someone… who isn't… broken. If you want out… its ok.”

She felt tears well up in her eyes at the sound of his voice. When he'd said that word “broken” she could practically taste the self loathing. She had to do something, something to make him understand. “you dumb fox.” she looked at him, willing her expression to be stern and serious despite the tears in her eyes. “you dump stupid beautiful fox.” his eyes had locked with hers, those beautiful perfect green orbs seemed so scared and lost now. She moved without thinking. Climbing up onto his bed so she could cup his cheeks with her paws. “you listen and you listen good. Are you listening?” he nodded softly. Judy leaned in, resting her forehead against his. “you are my fox. MINE. I'm not going anywhere and neither are you. You made a promise to me. To make me your wife. And i'm going to hold you to it. Understand?”

He looked at her. “but… Judy…”

She shook her head. “no buts. you're going to keep your promise. UNDERSTAND?”

the last word came out stronger, more forceful. She bit her lip, watching his eyes as he remained silent for a few moments before nodding slowly. "I un-understand.”

Tears were forming in his eyes and a few seconds later her own eyes were starting to water too. She held him there. Keeping their heads pressed together while he moved. His arms wrapping around her chest. "I love you Nick wilde. No matter what happens. And if I have to tell you everyday then that's what i'll do. Cause…” she pressed her head harder against his. Her tears making his fur wet. “cause… you're my dumb beutiful fox and I love you. And i'm going to be your wife.” He clung to her, his grip desperate and tight and with a jolt she found that he was shaking. His tears were flowing now too. Trickling down the sides of his face, mixing with hers.

His voice failed him as he clung to her, his throat choking and seizing making speech impossible. He'd been scared. so impossibly scared that she’d leave. He wouldn't have blamed her, but it would have hurt. would have felt like his heart was being ripped out through his mouth. It had been a stupid fear and yet… even as he held her there, her body crushed against his… he couldn't feel her.  He knew what she felt like, he'd memorized every inch of her body in the year they'd been together. Every hair and curve on her form was etched into his brain. And yet memories were all he had now. He couldn't feel her. Not her weight on his hips. Not her arms around his neck. Not even even when she'd held his head in her paws and put her head against his. He could see her doing those things, his brain telling him he should be feeling SOMETHING. And yet… nothing.

He buried his face against her shoulder, praying that she wouldn't notice how his crying had become stronger.

 

\-------

 

He watched silently as the Doctor as the Doctor closed the door to the examination room. Shifting nervously on the small table Nick tried to lighten the mood. “so Doc… is this one of those thing that I gotta turn my head on cough?”

It was a bad joke, but it helped…  little… sort of. In front of him the lab coat clad cheetah chuckled. “not exactly mr wilde Although… a portion of the exam will be similar.”

THAT caught his attention, his ears flicking nervously. “wh-what?”

The Doctor chuckle. “calm yourself mr wilde. I'm a professional and i've raised three boys. I guarantee you have nothing I haven't seen… or found under my oldest’s bed.”

Nick swallowed nervously. “s-so… how does this work?”

The Doctor smiled and produced a small pen like device from his pocket. “this Mr Wilde is called a thermonic probe. It is a device that, at random intervals will generate heat or cold at its tip.”

Nick nodded. “ok…”

The Doctor smiled reassuringly. “what we are going to do is have you strip down, and I am going to use this device and touch it to your fur and skin all around your body. All I need you to do is tell me if you feel anything, no matter how slight. Ok?” Nick nodded, but still looked around the room nervously as he did so. He wished Judy were here, being able to hold her paw… that might have helped to alleviate the nerves he was feeling. As if the Doctor knew what he was thinking he spoke.  "I'm sorry Mr Wilde. But we cannot allow your fiance to be present during this exam. We cannot allow anything that could alter the results.”

He nodded, knowing the Doctor was right. But still not knowing where Judy was… it bothered him. Still-

“shall we get started Mr Wilde?”

He took a deep breath before nodding, slowly getting to his feet and starting to strip.

 

\---------

 

she paced back and forth, her mind a nervous jumbled mess as she waited for Nick and the Doctor to return. She wished she could have gone with them, but the Doctor had been firm in his refusal. Now she was stuck here, waiting, praying and hoping for… what was she hoping would happen? Did she wish Nick would make a full recovery? Lion christ yes, she wanted that more than anything else. But… but what if that wasn't possible? The Doctor had said this could be permanent. What would they do then? She understood he couldn't feel anything but… what did that actually mean? Could he continued to be a cop without his sense of touch? That thought made her stomach lurch, what if the answer was no? What would he… they do then? Nick had worked so hard to become an officer. If that was taken away from him-

Her thoughts broke off as the door to the door to the room open. She looked up, a wave of relief washing through her as Nick came into sight. She wanted to run to him. To hug him. To tell him much she'd missed him, even though he'd only been gone for 45 minutes. “ni-”

He didn't look at her. He didn't speak to her. He didn't even acknowledge she was there. Instead he walked swiftly and mechanically, As if he were some kind of robot on autopilot to the bathroom before stepping inside and closing the door sharply. She felt her heart clench and again she reminded herself, He was hurting. He wasn't doing these things out of anger or spite. He was scared and confused. Turning away from the bathroom door her eyes fell on the Doctor, his expression was somber. “wh-what happened?”

The Doctor sighed. “Ms Hopps… perhaps you'd like to sit down before I tell you the results.”

She shook her head. “no. No i'll st-”

The Doctor spoke again, louder this time. “PLEASE. Ms Hopps… have a seat.”

As he spoke the Doctor gestured to one of the chairs next to her bed. Biting her lip Judy did as he'd asked. lowering her into the chair before repeating herself. “what happened?”

The Doctor sighed softly. “the effects of the Hypoesthesia are… more severe than we thought.”

Judy shook her head. “severe? what does that mean?”

The Doctor looked down at his clipboard for a moment. No doubt stalling to try and figure out the best way to give her the news. After several long moments he spoke. “Ms Hopps… your fiance has no feeling on approximately 96% of his body.” Her eyes widened in horror and her brain came to a screeching halt.

96%,

96%?!

“d-d-d-Doc?”

The Doctor sighed. “he has some sensation in a few places. The tip and base of his left ear. The base and middle sections of his tail. And a small spot on his collar bone. But… for now… those are the only places he has any sensation of touch.”

Her brain was still struggling with the number 96%...

He was speaking again, explaining to her that this could all be temporary and that even if it didn't heal right away it could heal over time. That they shouldn't lose hope. That there were way to cope and that in the meantime they should try get some rest and stay positive and blah blah blah blah.

 

\--------

 

Gently she knocked on the bathroom door. The Doctor had left over an hour ago. In that time she hadn't heard a single sound come from the bathroom and she was starting to worry. “Nick?”

She got no response. She couldn't even hear him breathing. That Scared her, made her knock on the door a bit harder and faster. “Nick?”

Again she got no response. She bit her lip. She knew the door didn't have a lock but she didn't like the idea of just barging in on him. She was worried through and more than anything she wanted to speak to him. To talk about everything that had happened. Taking a deep breath she slowly turned the handle, pushing the door open to look inside. The room was pitch black. the only light that which came in through the now open door. Her eyes scanned the darkness, straining to find him for a moment before they succeeded.

He was sitting in the corner, his head in his paws. Shed been about to speak when a scent hit her nose. A scent she knew but hadn't smelled often before, the sickeningly salty sweet smell of tears.

“Nick…”

She watched as he looked up at her and she found she could see the glistening on his fur as tears still clung to his face. She moved into the room, the door drifting closed behind her reducing the light in the room and sending jer in near pitch black. She moved slowly, moving slowly until she found the wall and following it until she was next to Nick before slowly sinking down next to him. “Nick… itll be ok.”

She felt his move slightly. “no… it wont.”

She sighed softly. “come on Nick, the Doctor said this could just be temporary. It will get better.”

After a few moments he responded. “you don't understand… i… I couldn't… I wasn't able… Judy… i'm… oh gods…”

She felt him start to shake, his sides heaving as he started to cry. She moved, her arms wrapping around his shoulders before pulling him sideways so his head was against her chest and heart. “shhhhh. Shhhhh. We'll get through this Nick. I promise.”

She could feel his tears starting to wet her clothes, but still she held him. softly repeating those words over and over willing him, as much as herself to believe them. He was shaking so badly. the force of his sobbing making his whole body tremble and quiver. “y-y-you do-don't und-under-understand.”

She bit her lip. She could tell something was bothering him. Something more than just the loss lf his sense of touch. Softly he held his head, cradling him against her. “you can tell me Nick. I love you.”

She felt his shake her head. "I… ca-can't. I jus-just …. can't… i… i… oh g-gods.  .” she felt him take a deep breath. One that made him press closer to her, his arms wrapping around her, clinging to her desperately.

“what is it Nick. Come on. Talk to me. What's going on?”

She felt his shaking grow, his skin and fur feeling like it was writhing against her grip. Still she held him, pulling him almost painfully tight against her chest. After several painfully long moments he spoke. "I'm… not… male… anymore.”

She blinked. _Not a male? Huh?_ “Nick. Of course you're  a male. What else could you possible be?”

He moved, pressing his face against her ribs. “Judy… I couldn't… i… couldn't… feel it… when…”

She bit her lip. She could tell how difficult this was for him. But at the same time, she wanted to know what had upset him so much. “can you… start from the beginning?”

She felt him take a deep shuddering breath, his whole body vibrating almost violently. “they… they ran… tests… touched my body… to see what i… could feel. And… then… the Doctor had me… think of you… of… being with you… and… kissing you and…”

She nodded. “he had you think sexual thoughts of me.”

He nodded before taking another breath. "It… gods it took… ages… to… to get… hard. And then… then… oh gods… I c-couldn't feel it… any of it…”

For a moment Judy sat there confused, still a bit unsure of what Nick was trying to say. The Doctor had made him get an erection and then… what couldn't he feel? Then slowly it dawned on her. Nick's comment about no longer being male. His lack of touch and how the Doctor hadn't mentioned that part of him as a place he could feel anymore…

_Oh  gods…_

She bit her lip, struggling to word her question. “Nick… you… you couldn't feel it when… he touched your-”

Her words broke off as another sob wracked his body. She felt him press her face against her chest. "I'm… s-sorry.” he repeated those words over and over and over. As of what was happening was his fault. She did his best to comfort him, trying not to think about how he couldn't feel her touch anymore. The Doctor's words echoed in her head, Nick did have feeling in one of his ears he'd said.

Gently she leaned forward, nuzzling Nicks ear with her nose. She felt Nick tense a sharp inhale cutting off his words. She kept nuzzling, noting with a clench of her heart that Nick was clinging tighter to her. After a few moments she spoke, still nuzzling his ear as she did so. “this is not your fault Nick. You have nothing to be sorry for. We'll get through this, together. I promise.” She could feel him shaking, still crying and clinging to her desperately. She kept holding him back, nuzzling his ear softly. "I love you Nick. You are my beautiful fox and I love you.”

He didn't respond for a moment, she felt him take a deep shuddering breath. Then another and another and another. Slowly he leaned back, his head leaving her chest and going to lean back against the wall of the bathroom. It was her turn to move now, pressing against him while her head went to the crook of his n-

“j-Judy…” she felt him react. his body tensing as she'd laid her head against his...

Her eyes widened slightly the Doctor had said he still had feeling on part of his collarbone. She shifted, planting a soft gentle kiss where she'd put her head a moment again. Again Nick inhaled sharply, this time she could hear the shaking in his breath. She kissed that spot again, pressing her lips against her fur so he could for sure feel the touch. "I'm right here Nick. I'm not going to leave you. Not ever.”

She felt him pull her closer to him. Pulling her into his lap so he could wrap his arms around her. She responded in kind, wrapping her own arms around him while kissing his collarbone again. Part of her wanted to leave this place. to go back into the room and curl up together in one of the bed, just like they had done so many times. Another part of her wanted this, this private alone hidden away time with Nick. A time for them both to be together just them. To remind each other that they loved each other.  To come to terms with what had happened and… hopefully… find a way forward.


	6. Finally...

Sitting in the doctor's office Judy squirmed a little. Next to her Nick was sitting still as a statue. Shed noticed him doing that a lot lately. Before when he sat for more than a few minutes he'd squirm. His tail would flick or hed lean back, or his head would move side to side as he looked around. That had stopped as of late. Now he sat almost straight backed, save for a small decline as he rested his back against the chair. In front of them Judy watched as their doctor looked over his notes before starting to speak. “Mr Wilde, I felt it a good idea to have this briefing, so you might better understand your condition. And so your fiance can understand it as well.”

Nick shrugged. “whatever.”

The doctor looked at them. “as we discussed before. Mr Wilde's sense of touch is almost nonexistent, save for a few places on his body. In our tests though we have learned a few details we didn't know before. For example,  Although he cannot feel anything external he can still experience internal stimuli. So we do not have to take some precautions like we thought we might.”

Nick remained silent while Judy cocked her head. “um… what does that mean? Internal stimuli?”

The doctor smiled. "It means he can still feel when there is or isn't food in his stomach, or when he must go to the bathroom. Or when he is eating or drinking. Also it means that there are certain… actions that could be taken to assist in stress relief should the need arise.”

Judy bit her lip but nodded. She was curious what he meant by that, but the way Nick had stiffened kept her from asking more questions. “ok.”

The doctor smiled softly. “trust me. That is a good thing. We've also confirmed that his sense of self touch has not been affected by his condition. so he is still capable of washing and dressing himself. As well and preparing his own paw wraps.”

Nick huffed softly. “still don't think I need them.”

The doctor nodded sadly. "I know Mr Wilde. You have voice your opinions several times on the matter. But the fact of the matter remains. Your paws have no sense of touch. You could cut your pads and not notice. Or you could step onto something had and burn your feet without your knowledge. Same for your hands. The wraps provide a necessary barrier to protect yourself from environments that have such hazards. When at home or in other safe environments they won't be needed. But when outside or in public places, I must insist you use them.”

Judy nodded, looking to Nick. “he will. I'll make sure of it.”

The doctor smiled and Nick rolled his eyes. “yes mom.”

She shot him a half glare before the doctor continued. “now. going forward there are some medications we would like for you to take Mr Wilde.” as he spoke the doctor offered him a pad of paper with several medications scribbled down on it. Before he could take it however Judy had reached out and grabbed it before looking over the list.

“what are they for?”

The doctor shrugged. “pills to help Mr Wilde sleep. Some to prevent muscle spasms and twitching. An enhanced multivitamin to ensure his body is getting the nutrition it needs to recover from the surgery. And one for his autoimmune system that will keep it from running rampant.”

Judy looked up from the list. “he’ll take them. What else?”

Now the doctor sighed. “now for the bad news. We still do not know if the condition is temporary or permanent. In addition to this I must insist that both you and Mr Wilde rest and recover. I.e, not go back to work for a while.”

Judy blinked at him. “for how long?”

The doctor looked at her sadly. “At least four months.”

Judy's eyes went wide. “four months?”

The doctor nodded. “possibly longer, Although Your boss has already cleared you for the four months..” when they both continued to stare at him the doctor sighed. “you both have suffered a traumatic event. It will take time to heal and recover.”

Next to her Judy felt Nick move. “so… what happens now?”

The doctor nodded. “for now we're going to allow you and Ms Hopps to return home. You've been here for almost a month, there is little more we can do for you.”

Judy shifted slightly, looking to Nick who was still sitting motionless. “mom and dad… said we could come and stay with them…”

The doctor looked to her. “where do they live?”

Judy bit her lip, Nick hadn’t responded to her words. But after a few moments she turned to speak to the doctor. “out in bunnyburrow.”

The doctor nodded and smiled. “that would be ok. The fresh air and open space… yes that could be good for both your recoveries. I think you should both go, so long as there are people nearby to help in case of an emergency.”

Judy nodded. “There are. My family will be around to help. And there is a doctor’s office in the town if we need anything else.”

The doctor nodded and smiled. “Good. then we have only two final things to do. Mr Wilde, we need to show you how to wrap your paws. And then there is some paperwork you both need to sign.”

As the doctor spoke a nurse stepped into the room and spoke softly. “Mr Wilde if you’ll come with me, we’ll show you how to wrap your paws while Ms Hopps takes care of the paperwork.”

She bit her lip as Nick looked to her. His expression was oddly blank, as if he just didn't care what was happening anymore. “Ok, see you in a bit carrots.”

She watched as he got up, following the nurse out of the room before the door closed behind them. After a few moments the doctor spoke. “Now that Mr Wilde is out of the room Ms Hopps, there is one other thing I think we should discuss.”

She looked back to him, noting how the doctor’s ears had flicked back in a slightly unsure way. “What’s that?”

The doctor sighed softly. “Mr Wilde’s psychological condition.”

Judy frowned. “shouldn’t we have done that with him in the room?”

But the doctor shook his head. "I do not think that would have been a good idea Mr Hopps. Look, as his fiance i'm sure you know how he normally behaves better than anyone. So I have no doubt that you’ve noticed how since waking up he’s been different. Cold, less emotional, perhaps…. Not as physical with you?”

She remained silent. It was true, Nick hadn't been nearly as affectionate as he usually was. They still cuddled as they slept and he would still occasionally touch her paw. But… the touches were not the same. They seemed mechanical, with no emotion behind them. Slowly she nodded. “he's… been different, yes.”

The doctor nodded. “Ms Hopps. Let me be frank your fiance has suffered a severe trauma, however he has not begun to process it. Right now he is in denial. The casual attitude, the lack of emotion. He's trying to pretend that nothing has happened or that what has happened isn't affecting him. That will not last and… I feel the need to… warn you of what may happen in the future.”

She cocked her head and him. “warn me?”

The doctor nodded. “yes Ms Hopps, warn you. The loss of the sense of touch is devastating to anyone. The loss of it to a predator… is almost world shattering. Right now Mr Wilde is in denial. But that state of mind cannot last. And when it ends… you need to be prepared for what may happen.”

Judy shook her head. "I still don't understand doctor.”

The doctor sighed again. “to put it plainly Ms Hopps. Your fiance may become depressed, perhaps to the point where he cannot justify getting out of bed. He may become angry, his temper flaring at the smallest offense or inconvenience to him. He may even become… violent. Lashing out at people and things around him in a frenzy. Or… he may try to hurt himself in an attempt to feel something. The point is this Ms Hopps, You must watch him closely. If you see signs of a radical personality change, then please notify us.” as he spoke the doctor held out a small card for her to take.

Taking the card Judy bit her lip. “Nick wouldn't do that. He's not that kind of mammal.”

The doctor sighed again. “perhaps you are right Ms Hopps. I pray you are and that i'm wrong. But if that is not the case, please contact us so we can help.”

She bit her lip. Pocketing the card a moment later. "I will.”

The doctor nodded. “good. And… as this may or may not be the last time I see you, congratulations on your engagement. I hope you two will be happy together.”

She smiled weakly at him. Happy seemed to be a bit of a stretch at the moment. But… maybe in the future… they could be.

 

\--------------

 

Opening the door to their apartment Judy stepped inside. Behind her Nick slowly moved inside too. It was strange. She was so used to hearing his nails click on the wooden floors. But now instead of clicking his paws only made a soft thudding sound, muffled by the thick bandages wrapped around his feet. Turning she watched as he moved, slowly sitting on on their bed, a blank expression on his face. “hey...” Her voice was soft and tentative as she spoke.

He looked up at her, his normally confident green eyes seeming instead lost and confused. Slowly she moved, sitting down on the bed next to him. He seemed so different now. Confused, maybe even… scared… in their own home. The home they'd shared for the last year together. After a few moments he spoke softly. “did you parent really invite us to stay with them?”

She nodded. “yes. They thought the country would do us some good.”

He looked at her for  a moment. “do they… know about… us?”

She shook her head. “no… I didn't tell them yet.” she felt her heart clench as a flicker of hurt drifted across his face. "I… I wanted you to be there with me when I did.”

He remained silent, his ears flat against his head, looking at his bandaged and covered paws. “Judy… do you… think less of me… now?”

She looked at him in shock startled by his question. “no! Nick why would you think that? I love you. How could I ever think less of you?”

She watched as he took a deep breath, his sides shaking slightly. “cause… I do…” he looked at her, his eyes watery from tears that had started to fall down his face. “you deserve… b-better than… some… b-b-broken-”

She cut him off, pulling him against her while her head went to that spot against his neck. she could feel his tears on the top of her head, gently soaking her fur as she held him tightly. After a few moments she spoke softly to him. “you are not broken Nick. You are beautiful. You're MY fox and NO MATTER WHAT i'm going to be be your wife.”

She cradled him there, gently nuzzling the spot on his neck where he still had feeling. After a few deep breaths she spoke. “now you listen to me Nick Wilde. I don't care. I don't care what you can and can't feel. I don't care,” her paw dipped down to his, bringing the bandaged and wrapped limp up and pressing it against the side of her face. "If your covered from head to toe in bandages. Cause I know you. I know what you feel, because feel it too. I know you love me. I KNOW IT.”

She felt his paw move, gently hugging her head against him. "I do Judy. I love you so soooo much. But….”

She shook her head. “no butts. You're MY fox, and I won't let you get away from me. Not after everything I had to do to catch you.” she kissed his neck, hearing him gasp softly at the contact. “you're going to get better Nick. I know it. You're going to beat this and Im going to be there when you do. Just like all the other things we've had to overcome.”

He held her closer, his other bandaged arm coming around to hug her. "I wanna make you so happy Judy. I wanna give you everything you could ever want.”

She chuckled softly, “silly fox. You're my everything, so i'm already happy.”

She heard him sniff softly, no doubt her words choking him up with emotion. He kept nuzzling his neck, gently kissing that spot. "I love you Judy. I love you so much.”

She gripped him tighter, a feeling of relief washing through her at those words. "I love you too Nick. I'm not going anywhere.”

They stayed like that for several minutes, gently hugging and supporting the other. Slowly she felt him move, pulling away and sniffing softly. She moved to her feet, standing on the bed to use her shirt and dap at the few tears still clinging to his face. Their eyes met as she did, his green orbs connecting with her pink ones. It Was automatic, almost conditioned into them both after a year of living and being together; their lips drifting together into a soft and loving kiss. Gods it felt good to kiss him again. Good didn't even properly describe it, it felt… amazing. Like she was finally able to take a breath after having held it for weeks. Almost like it was the first time again. His paws came up, coming to rest against her hips. For several more seconds the kiss continued, only ending when her lungs started to itch from lack of air. Pulling away Judy watched as an expression flickered across Nick's face. “what is it?”

He shook his head and smiled softly at her. “nothing. Just… glad to be here with you.”

She smiled back at him. “me too. Come on, lets get packed and we can catch the next train to bunnyburrows.”

He smiled and nodded, watching as she hopped down off the bed and moved towards the closet to get their suitcases. With her back to him and unable to see, Nick let his ears fall slightly. The kiss had helped her. Had given her some semblance of their old life back. He was grateful for that. After everything that had happened and had been thrown at her she deserved that. But…

 

\---------

 

The train station was just as busy as always, hundreds of mammals scurrying and running about, either trying to make their train on time or else just getting off. Hurrying along the platform he followed Judy, watching as she scanned the terminals before finding the one they were looking for the train they needed to take. “there, at the end of the platform.”

He nodded. As he did so his eyes caught sight of a young wolf cub, couldn't have been only than two tugging on his mother's arm and pointing at…

“mommy? Mommy? Why is that fox’s paws covered like that?”

The mother glanced at him, her eyes widening when she found he was looking at her; quickly pulling her son along and away. He sighed softly to himself, moving to follow Judy through the crowds of people. _Have to get used to that I suppose, everyone's gonna wanna point at the freak._

Boarding the train Nick continued to follow Judy, allowing her to lead him to the very last car before finding and seat under the glass paneled roof. “when I first came to the city, I stood in this car and watched all the districts flash by. It was… magical. The most amazing thing i'd ever seen.” he smiled, imagining her expression of wonder and amazement as the districts flew by.

"It's quite a sight to be sure.”

She nodded, looking to him. "It still is. Sometimes I kinda make myself dizzy thinking about it. The city has some many different biomes and subclimates, but everything fits together and just sorta… works. it's incredible.”

He nodded. "I suppose. So what's it like in bunnyburrow?”

She shrugged. "Its ok. This time of year it'll probably be sunny most days. Might have one or two spring showers but nothing to crazy. why?”

He shrugged. “never been to a place that didn't have regulated climates.”

She blinked at him in surprise. “Nick… have you never left the city before?”

He shook his head. “nope. First time carrots, so be gentle.” He smiled at the faint twitch of her nose at his comment, a sign he'd embarrassed her a tiny bit.

After a moment she smiled, reaching out to work her fingers into his. He watched as she did. Making sure to move his fingers so they would wind together as they had done so many times before. “well then… i'm glad I get to be your first. I'll make sure you have a great time.”

He smiled, tensing as the train jerked slightly before starting to pull away from the station. "I'm glad too.”

It was sort of magic, Although he'd never admit it. Around them the world seemed to change every five minutes or so. First it was a normal bustling city, then Sahara square, then tundra town, then the jungle district and lastly a long dark black tunnel with a light at the far end of it. And then suddenly the darkness vanished, Replaced by blinding light as they emerged from the city. He turned in his seat watching as the city fell into the background behind them.

 

\---------

 

The train ride was actually pretty nice. He liked watching the countryside pass by. Sitting in the train car watching the world move by, it was calming. Almost tranquil actually. So much so that his eyes had drifted closed and he'd fallen asleep. His dreams were a jumble, flashes of sights and sounds and moments that dissolved away into nothingness the moment he tried to focus on them. Some of them felt… happy… a glimpse of people laughing… of Judy smiling… of her in a beautiful white dress with tears in her eyes. Him and her cuddled together. Others were… not… him alone in the apartment, empty bottles strewn around him… having to turn in his badge… a look of pain and fear on Judy's face as he snarled and ragged at her… blood dripping down his arm from slashes he'd put there.

“Nick? Nick wake up.”

His eyes eyes opened, a startled gasp coming from his lung a moment later. He blinked trying to bring the world into focus around him. They were… where were they?

The sun had started to set. Its light having changed from its white daylight and instead had become orange and red. In front of him Judy was standing, looking at him a small expression of worry covering her face. "I… i'm up…”

He felt her eyes on him, watching as he slowly sat up in his chair. They weren't moving anymore. Outside the glass windows he could see a station, a large wooden sign with the words ‘WELCOME TO BUNNYBURROW’ meeting his gaze. Groaning softly he shook his head, shaking the dregs of sleep from his head. He could feel her watching him as he stood up. “n-Nick… are you ok? You… were making… sounds in your sleep.”

Mentally he cursed himself. Of course he would make sounds in his sleep. He turned to her, noting the look of concern in her gaze. “yeah. I'm ok. I just… I had kinda a rough dream is all.”

After several moments she looked away, her attention going to gathering their luggage and getting off the train. He was grateful for that. It gave him something to do, to focus on. Making their way off the train Nick blinked as he looked around the bunnyburrow station. It was… a little trippy if he was being honest. In zootopia he was used to being one of the smaller species around. That was just a fact of life living in the city. Out here though that had been flipped on its head. Now Nick found that he was easily a foot taller than most everyone else in the station, except maybe a small group of wolves that were happily hugging and nuzzling each other in greeting. Following Judy along the platform Nicks eyes scanned the crowd looking for-

“Judy!”

His ears flicked in the direction of the shout. Turning towards the voice Nick smiled as Judy rushed forward, throwing herself at her mom and dad who pulled her into a tight hug. He came to a stop a small ways away, allowing Judy and her family to have this moment together. After a few minutes the trio of rabbits broke apart, Nick moved a little closer to them as Judy's parents looked to him. “hello Nick, how are you?”

A moment later stu's ears flicked back, clearly realizing he'd said something slightly insensitive. Nick ignored that part, instead he smiled. "I'm ok. Glad to be out of there. Thanks so much for letting me and Judy come and stay out here.”

Bonnie nodded. For a moment Nick noted how her eyes looked over his wrapped paws before looking from him to Judy. “of course. The crowded city is no place to relax and heal. You two can stay as long as you like.”

He smiled at her, not an open mouthed toothy grin but a soft smile, one he'd learned wouldn't make most mammals feel nervous or threatened by him. He followed Judy and her parents through the station, noting several stares he got as they moved through the crowd. In the back of his mind he wondered, were they looking at him because he was a predator in a mostly prey town; Or was it because of his bandages? then again it didn't really matter. He wouldn't see any of them again, so he didn't really mind if they stared. Honestly he probably would have stared too if he were in their shoes. Exiting the station Nick squinted slightly, the sudden assault of sunlight on his eyes making him wince slightly. For a moment he stopped following, instead digging around in his pocket for his sunglasses. Once they were on he rushed to catch up, heading towards the familiar pickup truck parked a little ways away.

Tossing their suitcases in the truck bed Nick bit his lip. The truck cab was not big enough for him AND the three rabbits. Stuseemed to realize this too, his voice slightly apologetic. “uh… sorry Nick… um… I can sit in the back if-”

But Nick shook his head. “oh no. I'll sit in the back. It'll be nice, I never got to do anything like this as a kit. It'll be fun.” he watched as Stulooked to his wife who smiled softly at him.

“ok hun, but next time you sit in the cab. We can all rotate and take turns.”

He nodded, “ok. Deal.”

He moved, getting ready to climb up into the bed of the truck when Judy spoke abruptly “m-mom… da-dad… before… before we go… I need to tell you something.” He paused turning to look at her. Her jaw was set in the way he knew meant she had made up her mind. Her ears were laid back though, clearly nervous about what she was going to say. He moved to her side, an idea of what she might be able to do flickering through his mind. He watched as Bonnie and Stu looked to her. Twin expressions of concern on their faces.

“what is it pumpkin?”

Judy's eyes darted sideways to him. As if making sure he was ok with what she was about to do. He was, and to show it he leaned down, his paw running along her arm before taking hers into his in what he hoped was a gentle touch. "I… Nick… Nick and i… we-we're…” he'd never seen her this nervous before. They'd been in shootouts with drug dealers, where she'd barely blinked. But now she was shaking, visibly. He could see the worry in her face, no doubt she was terrified of what would happen when she said the words. Smiling softly Nick took the lead, giving Judy's hand a small squeeze.

“what Judy is trying to say,” Bonnie and Stu's gaze shifted to him. There was no denying he was nervous too. What they were about to say could have huge HUGE consequences on their lives. “Mr and Mrs Hopps. Just before… Judy and I were attacked… I… I had…” he took a deep breath. "I asked your daughter if she would marry me.”

There it was, he'd said it. After a second Judy spoke hurriedly. “a-and I said yes.”

Silence met their words. In front of them Nick watched as Judy's parents processed what they'd been told. Stu's eyes had widened slightly and he was looking between Judy and Nick as if seeing them for the first time. Next to him Bonnie was… smiling?

“oh Judy.” Bonnie moved forward, pulling her daughter into a hug. “thank you for finally telling us.”

Judy blinked in surprise. “wh-what? You already knew?”

Bonnie pulled back, chuckling softly. “we, well I did.”

Judy stared at her dumbstruck. “h-how? We didn't tell anyone.”

Bonnie sighed and grabbed her daughter's arm, bringing it up so everyone could see her paw and the golden band Nick had given her. "I may not have gone to police school Judy, but I know an engagement ring when I see it. You've never worn much jewelry before, so the fact that you had it on both times we came to visit meant that it was obviously important to you. And,” Bonnie looked to Nick her smiling never fading. “you were so worried about Nick and making sure he was ok. It was obvious you two were more than just partners and friends. I thought maybe you two were dating or maybe really close rut buddies.”

Nicks eyes widened and next to him Judy spluttered in shock. “m-mom!”

Bonnie sighed softly but kept smiling at them. “but when I saw you with the ring Judy, of course I knew. Stu didn't.” she turned to look at her husband who was still looking between Judy and Nick in shock. "I’m so glad you two found each other.” Bonnie looked to Nick. “you take good care of our Judith. You hear?”

Nick swallowed and nodded quickly. "I w-will. I promise.”

Bonnie looked seriously at him. "I mean it. She's headstrong, impulsive, impossible to stop once she sets her mind to something. Like a force of nature.”

Nick grinned. “oh I know. Trust me.”

Bonnie chuckled softly. "I'm sure you do. And as for you Judith Lavender Hopps, you owe you farther and me an explanation of how this,” Bonnie gestured to them. “all started. So start talking young lady.”

Judy looked up to Nick a nervous smile covering her face. He returned the smile, a wave of relief washing through him making him feel as if a weight had been lifted from his chest. Next to him The relief was clear as day on Judy's face. They had done it. They had told her parents. After everything they'd been through, after all the pain, all the heartbreak of the last few weeks, finally… something good had happened.


	7. Meeting The Family

The drive to Judy's home was pretty pleasant actually, more than he'd expected it to be at any rate. He'd envisioned a bumpy country road, one that would make him grip the bed of the truck with white knuckles as he tried not to be crushed by their suitcases. But the road was smooth, only the occasional bump or dip disturbing the drive. Leaning back against the side of the truck bed Nick's eyes flickered to the back window where he could see Judy and her parents. All three sets of ears would occasionally twitch a move,  an indicator that Judy was probably doing as her mom had ordered and was telling the story of how they'd started dating. privately he hoped she was giving them the abridged version. the version that didn't involve them both getting staggering drunk and sleeping together. they had agreed on a more friendly version for when people asked, that it had started when he’d asked her out on a ‘date’ and they had ended up having a great time together. 

he knew she didn't remember much of that night. she’d mentioned that once or twice. he did, maybe not all of it but certainly more than she did. he could remember how she’d dramatically stood up and told him to be quiet, that she had something she’d wanted to say to him for a long time. he remembered the moment their lips had pressed together and the feelings in his chest as he’d realized this wasn't a dream or some dunked fantasy; that she was REALLY kissing him. he remembered her pulling away, a look of worry on her face. and he remembered grabbing her shoulders, dragging her back against him for another kiss, and another and another and another. 

that night, he’d given in. for almost half a year he’d struggled with himself, feeling ashamed for even thinking such thoughts about her. thoughts that could completely ruin their relationship. and yet, that night those thoughts had been silenced. he’d given in, his want for her fueling him; making him desperate. he hadn’t expected them to sleep together, honestly. the most he’d hoped for was some drunken making out and then to wake up the next morning, laugh awkwardly and play it off. that hadn't happened though, they had done more and in the end he'd been left confused and unsure of what to do next. He loved Judy, the spunky little rabbit had saved him and dragged him up and out of the gutters. He owed her his life, quite literally. Was it even right for him to want more? Was it fair to even ask since he was a predator and she a prey? In the end he decided he couldn't just leave things the way they were. That he had to at least see if she felt the same way. And as it had turned out-

The truck was slowing now, pulling Nick from his thoughts. They had arrived at Judy's home. He blinked for a moment as he looked it over. It was pretty cute if he was being honest. A small white picket fence was the first thing he noticed, it lined the front yard with several beds of flowers behind it. A small stone walkway had been paid into the ground, leading from the gate to the front door. The home itself was a large mound of dirt, easily the height of a single story building with grass covering its surface. A circular wooden door led inside while Behind the home a tree grew half shading the home. Inside the yard Nick could see several young rabbits playing, chasing each other or playing catch with a ball that they would throw or roll between them, laughing as they did so. As the truck came to a stop Nick slowly stood up, stretching slightly before he hopped down out of the truck bed. As he did so the sound of Bonnie’s voice reached his ears. “Nick, welcome to the Hopps family farm.”

The young rabbits in the yard had stopped playing now, their eyes turning to look at them. Nick watched as their eyes quickly looked over Bonnie and stuff with little interest. Their gazes lingered on Judy for a bit longer, probably unsure of who she was, but dismissing her as friendly since she was a rabbit. Then their eyes fell on him and their gaze lingered… and lingered… and lingered. More rabbits were coming into view now, the door to the burrow having opened and now a steady stream of them were filling the yard. He bit his lip, his ears flicking nervously to the side. Next to him Judy spoke. “You ok there slick?"

He nodded slowly, looking sideways at her. "Y-yeah.”

She could see through his nerves, he knew that. She smiled up at him. “It'll be ok Nick.”

He bit his lip, his eyes scanning the crowd of rabbits that had come out and were now watching them. “I… just… you have a big family.”

Just chuckled. "281 siblings. Or did you think I was kidding?" Nick shook his head, forcing himself to look away from the crowd and instead moving to help Judy gather the bags from the bed of the truck. As they did so Judy leaning in, speaking softer so only he could hear. “Really Nick. It's ok."

He looked at her. “i… ok."

Pulling their bags from the back of the truck Nick straightened up as Bonnie began to speak to them. “You two must be exhausted from that long train ride. I'll show you to the guest burrow and then you both can sleep for a bit. How does that sound?”

Sleep did sound good. Next to him Judy looked at her mom slightly surprised. “The… guest burrow?”

Bonnie nodded. "Of course Judy. Did you think I was going to make you and Nick sleep in your old room? There's be no privacy. And I'm sure at some point you and he will want some alone time to work on making us some grand ch-”

Judy held up her hands, waving them almost frantically. "Ok mom I get it! I… thanks." 

He chuckled softly at Judy's embarrassment and followed Bonnie as she led them around the picketed front yard and off to one side of the home. As they passed by Nick's ears flicked unconsciously, picking up on several of the hushed whispers coming from the crowd of rabbits. 

“A fox? An actual fox?"

"what's with his arms and legs?”

“Why did she bring HIM here?”

“maybe he's a vegetarian?" 

“If she's brought him here, he must be ok.”

“I don't trust him.”

his ears flicked back, lowering slightly at the comments. he should have expected that. Bonnie and Stu may have been ok with him and Judy; but would the rest of her family be?  _ she has 281 siblings… some of them might be ok with it… right? _

the guest burrow was nice, simply a smaller version of the main one with its own fence and small garden. following Bonnie and Judy through the gate Nick watched as Bonnie unlocked the door before-

“wait." 

Bonnie and Judy looked back at him. "ni-HEY!" 

letting go of his bag Nick stepped forward, one paw going to Judy's shoulder as he bent down so the other could go behind her knee. a second later he lifted her up, smiling as she squirmed and reflexively wrapped her arms around his neck. “n-ni-Nick what are you doing?”

he kissed her head. “being a good fiance."

in front of them Bonnie was smiling, an amused look on her face as she stepped aside and gestured for Nick to go inside first. it was silly and make a tiny bit dumb but… it felt right. nothing had really gone according to plan since he'd proposed. and yes, technically he was supposed to wait until AFTER the wedding to do this. but… screw tradition; if he wanted to be traditional he'd be marrying a vixen. 

he held Judy close against him; inhaling her beautiful soft scent as he carried her inside. he stoopped slightly as he stepped into the burrow, carrying her a small ways inside before setting her down and leaning in. their lips met a moment later, it was a short kiss, not one of the ones they used to do that would set a world record. but it felt good; even if he couldn't really feel it. pulling away he smiled at her, noting how her ears had turned a bit pink.

“Awwwww. you two are adorable." 

he grinned as Judy's ears went a little pinker before turning to look to Bonnie smiled at them. “thank you for letting us stay here.”

Bonnie nodded. “Stay as long as you and Judy need. the burrow has just about everything you could need. kitchen, Living room, bedrooms. it does have a bathroom but it's pretty basic. but you're welcome to come to use the main house's bathroom if you like. it's a lot bigger and you can soak and relax in it.”

THAT piqued his interest. “I'd be curious to see that. but… maybe when everyone else is asleep. I… wouldn't want to scare anyone.”

Bonnie looked at her, her smile becoming a little saddened. “Nick," slowly she moved forward, reaching out to touch his arm. “you're a member of this family now. and even if you weren't; a friend of Judy's is a friend of ours. You and Judy are welcome to come stay as long as you want. ok?”

he bit his lip. next to him Judy spoke softly. “thanks Mom, that means a lot to us." 

Bonnie smiled at both of them. “It'll be a few hours before it's time for dinner. should give you both plenty of time to unpack and maybe take a nap?”

maybe it was his imagination but Nick was pretty sure he could see a small glint in her eyes as she said ‘nap.’ nevertheless he nodded, watching as Bonnie turned and left them alone.

“Nick," he turned to Judy, blinking in surprise as she moved in closer and stood up on her tiptoes to kiss his neck softly. “It's true Nick. you're a part of this family. No matter what the rest of them think. ok?”

he felt his throat constrict slightly, emotions welling up in his chest at her words. in front of him she moved, her arms going around his stomach while she rested her head against his chest. he closed his eyes, his arms encircling her and holding her in what he hoped was a gentle embrace. “I love you Judy.”

she smiled up at him. “I love you too."

 

\---------

 

the burrow was certainly bigger than it looked on the outside. most of the rooms were underground, with only the living room and kitchen on the main floor. down a flight of dirt and clay stairs the bedroom and bathroom were situated along with a few closets for storage. it took them a little over an hour to unpack; luckily the closets and dressers were more than big enough for the clothes they'd brought. and if they needed anything else Judy pointed out that they could simply go into town. 

Nick sighed softly. the burrow was nice, it had been a very kind gesture. honestly he had half expected Bonnie and Stu to make them sleep apart to prevent any kind of… activities between them. if he was being REALLY honest with himself he hadn't been exactly sure if he'd have even been allowed in the main burrow or not. He wouldn't have blamed them either. An entire burrow full of rabbits and here he was, a fox; their ancient mortal enemy. He wouldn't have blamed them if they'd hesitated to let him in the burrow. Hell he wouldn't had blamed them if they made him sleep in the barn. He would have been hurt, yes. And he would have used the very first excuse that came to him to leave and go back to the city. But… that hadn't the happened. They'd welcomed him. And now he lay on the bed, stretched out with his head resting against what he was pretty sure was a soft pillow with Judy laying against him.

it felt nice to lay day. even if he couldn't exactly feel the bed, blankets or pillow under him; he could feel the lack of strain on his muscles. and with the way Judy was laying he COULD feel the softness of Judy's breath as it wafted and passed over his neck and the small area he did have feeling on his collarbone. that was reassuring. it helped to keep him grounded, otherwise he would have felt like he was floating. as it was laying here felt odd, as if the parts of his body that were numb were somehow floating several inches of the bed while his neck and tail felt like they usually did. the whole feeling was a bit disconcerting and kept him from feeling truly relaxed. his ears flicked and twitched at the faintest of sounds his nose twitching slightly at the Aura of unfamiliar smells. 

they weren't exactly unpleasant. far from it actually. the burrow had a very pleasant underground musk to it. one that reminded him of when he'd been a kit and how he'd dug little hiddy holes in the dirt for fun. occasionally a small breeze would kick up outside, a soft wheeze coming from somewhere in the burrow which was accompanied by a small gust of fresh air. Judy's smell was the strongest to him, not surprising since she was laying right against him. his nose twitched as he inhaled, unconsciously leaning in till his nose brushed against the top of her head. he really did love how she smelled. that was something he'd started to notice more lately. he'd always thought she smelled good; her own flowery musk mixing with the citrus scented shampoo and conditioner she used. her smell was comforting to him, making him feel content and happy even before all of this, but now…

he squeezed her tighter, gently pulling her back so she was closer to him. She was like a tether to him. if he could just keep hold of her… everything would be ok. if he could have her here in his arms, if he could keep her here with him, he wouldn't float away or drown in this endless emptiness that threatened to swallow him. he closed his eyes, pressing his forehead against the back of her head, inhaling her scent in an attempt to calm himself. he felt… afraid. that was the only way to describe it. his heart pounded in his chest and his stomach felt like it was churning and writhing inside his gut. he squeezed his eyes tighter, forcing himself to take deep breaths in through his nose, allowing her scent to fill his mind and body.  _ Calm, stay calm. Deep breaths. In… out… in… out _

That helped a bit. His was still scared, but by keeping his breathing slow he was able to stop himself from getting any more upset. time, things would take time. the doctor's had told him that over and over and over again. he'd hated it, hated them for saying it. he knew it was the truth but he still hated it. he didn't want to wait for things to get better. he wanted them to be better NOW. He wanted to go back to work and do all the things that he and she loved to do, not take months for recovery and who knew what else before MAYBE being allowed back. he had no illusions of what could happen. there were a million and one things that could go wrong and keep him from being reinstated as an officer. unwelcome in his mind came the scene from his dream; him turning in his badge and being forced to quit. he didn't want that. he liked being an officer as odd as that sounded. it gave him a sense of purpose; a way to atone for the things he'd done in his past and the wrongs he'd committed. but now-

“...ni… ck….” he froze at the sound of Judy's voice. but when she didn't move after several moments he realized that she hadn't woken up but was merely talking in her sleep. 

_ she's dreaming about me? _

he remained silent, listening to her as she groaned softly in her sleep. “lo… ve… you….”

he forced himself to keep breathing, to stay calm even as his heart clenched painfully in his chest, making him hold her tighter. he had to get better, he HAD to; for her. so he could be not just the fox she wanted, but the fox she deserved; the HUSBAND she deserved. 

 

\--------

 

“you sure this is a good idea carrots?" 

in front of him Judy smiled playfully at him. " Nickolas Wilde are you afraid of having dinner with a group of rabbits?”

he rolled his eyes at her. “no. just… not sure if you should introduce yourself family to your fox fiance on the first night you're both here.” 

Judy rolled her eyes and pulled the door to their new home open. “you'll be fine. now come on. we don't want to be late."  sighing to himself Nick paused just long enough of look at his reflecting in a large circular mirror that hung next to the door. he'd ditched his usual green and floral print shirt, replacing it with a light blue Polo style shirt that he had to admit made his chest fluff look rather dashing as it perked out from under the collar. he worse his usual khakis and the bandages the doctor had insisted he wear. he'd argued with Judy about that, trying to convince her that he didn't need them had been almost hopeless. reaching up he ran his bandaged claws through his fur. it was strange. he could 'feel’ that touch. a kind of dim knowledge that he was touching himself springing to mind, even it wasn't the true feeling of the touch. Next to him Judy appeared in the reflection, her paw going to his before winding their fingers together. “Come on slick. Come meet your new family." 

 

Taking a small breath Nick nodded, doing his best to seem braver than he felt. Closing the door behind them when they left Nick and Judy made their way to the main burrow. As they did so Nick's nose twitched. He could smell several different kinds of vegetables being cooked; what smelled to be some kind of stew, along with the musky scent of a casserole and the airy and intoxicating smell of fresh breads. As they rounded the main Burrow's fense his stomach growled hungrily. Passing through the small gate Nick felt his nerves grow a bit as he noticed several faces in the front windows watching as they drew closer to the front door. For a second he wondered if maybe they should knock or ring the doorbell. Yes it was the home Judy had grown up in but he was still a guest there. If they were going to a fox home that would be common, to announce their presence and gain permission to enter the home.

“Judy!"

Nick watched as the young rabbit who had opened the door darted forward, and pulled Judy into a hug. Judy laughed, returning the hug for a moment before speaking. “Hey Conner. How are you?"

Conner, stepped back grinning widely at his cousin (or maybe sister?) “I'm good. Glad you're here. I wanna hear more about being a cop!”

Nick chuckled at that. No matter what species little kids always wanted to hear what it was like being a cop. But his laugh died away as the young rabbit's gaze turned to him. For several seconds the brown and white rabbit looked up at him, his eyes wide. Nervously Nick shifted a little, in the past kids reacted one of two ways to him. They'd either oo and ah over his tail or run back to their parents to hide from the evil fox. Which would this one d-

“You're tall!"

Nick blinked, slightly surprised by the comment. He was only 3’5” that was pretty average for a fox actually. Then again the young rabbit was almost half the size of Judy, so that meant he was almost three times the rabbit's size. Next to him Judy spoke. “Conner, this is Nick Wilde. He's my partner on the police force.”

The kit's eyes went wide. "You're a cop too?"

He nodded, “yeah, though not as good as your big sister."

In front of him Conner grinned. “No one is better than sister Judy!"

Nick grinned, watching as Judy ruffled the small rabbit’s ears a little. “Come on, let's go have dinner."

Taking a deep breath Nick nodded, following Judy and her younger brother through the front door and into the burrow before closing it behind him.  _ Stay calm Wilde. Remember what they taught you in school. Stay calm, keep your claws retracted, no open mouthed smiles. _

They were in a front sitting room. Sofas and chairs had been set out and we're currently occupied by several rabbits, all of whom looked up at them. For a moment there was silence, Nick felt a dozen or so eyes fall on him. It was rather intimidating. The air in the room was… tense and for a moment Nick again wondered if coming her on the first night was a bad idea. “Judy. Nick. Welcome."

Turning towards the familiar voice Nick watched as Bonnie emerged from what smelled to be the kitchen. The motherly rabbit moved forward, pulling Judy into a quick hug before turning to Nick and doing the same. He bit his lip, his ears twitching slightly as several of the rabbits in the sitting room inhaled sharply. He knew why she was hugging him, she was trying to prove to the others he was a friend.  _ Better not fuck it up.  _ He returned the hug gently, making sure not to squeeze to hard. “Thanks for having us."

After a few seconds Bonnie let him go and stepped back. “Of course. Dinner is almost ready, we should be bringing the food out in just a minute.”

Seeing a chance to make a good impression Nick spoke. "Can I help bring anything out?"

Bonnie smiled warmly at him. “If you like; you can help Stu carry the stew.”

Nick chuckled at the pun, following Bonnie into the kitchen. inside the kitchen the smells of food were stronger, making his mouth water and his stomach rumble louder than before. in front of them several rabbits were moving and flirting about, carrying trays of bread and platters of food; all of them heading for a doorway on the other side of the kitchen. “Nick. Jude." 

the sound of Stu's voice made Nick shifted, finding Judy's father off to the right stirring a large pot of bubbling vegetable stew. next to them Bonnie spoke. “Nick wanted to help you bring out the stew. ok?”

Stu grinned and nodded. “of course. that would be great. if you get that handle, I'll get this one and….”

a short while later they were moving, carefully carrying the large pot of stew between them. behind them Bonnie had given Judy one of the trays with fresh bread while Bonnie herself brought what appeared to be a literal bucket of butter. as they passed through the far door Nick found them emerging into what was probably the largest dining room he'd ever seen. rather than a single long table as he'd expected he found that the dining room was filled with several large tables while a single huge buffet style table ran down the middle of the room. following Stu's lead Nick moved towards the large banquet table, pausing for a moment so the smaller rabbit could carefully climb up a small flight of movable stairs before setting the pot down on the table. he'd just turned and started looking for Judy when a harsh voice cut through the low din of voices and footsteps. “WHATS A FOX DOING HERE?!" 

Feeling his spirits sink a little Nick turned in the direction of the voice, finding a small group of male rabbits who were glaring at him like he'd insulted their mother. next to him Stu spoke sternly. “Terry DON'T. he's your sister's guest and-”

Terry ignored what Stu was saying, continuing to glare at Nick as the group drew closer to him. “Then he tricked her. or lied to her. or-”

“ENOUGH TERRY." the tone of anger was unmistakable in Judy's voice as she appeared at Nick's side, glaring at her brother. “Nick IS HERE WITH ME AND IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT-”

But Terry cut her off, pointing angrily at Nick before shouting. “YOUR DAMN RIGHT I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH IT! SINCE WHEN ARE YOU FRIENDS WITH A FOX?” at his words the small group around Terry mumbled in agreement.

nervously Nick looked around. other rabbits were starting to stare at them. And he could see a few of them whispering to each other. next to him Judy laughed. “we're more than friends Terry." 

for a moment Nick mentally kicked himself. this wasn't going to end well. across from them Terry's eyes narrowed. “and what the fuck does that mean Judy?" 

biting his lip Nick spoke, doing his best to head off any confrontation before it could escalate any further. “Maybe I should just go? I don't want to cause trouble.”

but Bonnie and Stu shook their heads. Bonnie even went so far and to move closer and put her paw on his arm. “No Nick. You're a part of this family now. you have as much right to-”

Terry growled at them his eyes narrowing further. “THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE? HOW IS THIS FLEABAG," again he pointed at Nick. "A PART OF THE FAMILY?" 

next to him Nick felt Judy hold out we paw, displaying the gold engagement ring he'd given to her what felt like a lifetime ago. “We're engaged." 

for a full five seconds the room felt like it had gone completely silent. next to him Judy had on a smug look of satisfaction on her face with her paw outstretched. across from them Terry's and his little group were staring at the ring. then-

“WHAT THE FUCK Judy?! YOU'RE ENGAGED TO A FOX?!”

Nick's ears flattened against his head, partially from the column a which Terry shouted but also out of fear.  _ Great, you're not even here a day and the family is already fighting over you. _

he opened his mouth to speak, to again try and excuse himself. clearly him being here was the problem. so leaving would be the easiest fix. he could go back to the city, give Judy time with her family. that would be for the be-

“excuse me, some of us are hungry. Can you please MOVE?" 

the sound of a new able voice made Nick shift, finding that another group of rabbits had come up behind Terry and his group. The leader of the second group, a taller grey rabbit with some kind of black striping in his fur was tapping his foot, an expression of mild annoyance covering his face. Terry turned to glare at the new rabbit. “Shut up jack. Didn't you hear? Our sister in engaged to this filthy cheating fox!”

Jack glanced to Nick for a moment, his cool blue eyes looking him up and down. For a moment Nick shivered, he knew that look before. It was one he'd mastered years ago. The kind of look that let a mammal glance at you while learning everything they could possibly want to know. When the look was finished jack shifted his gaze back to his irate brother. “Yes Terry I heard. And while I'll admit I have some questions I don't see anything wrong wi-”

"NOTHING WRONG WITH IT?! ARE YOU SHITTING ME?! HE'S A FOX! SHE'S A RABBIT! PREDATOR AND PREY! IT'S NOT NORMAL!”

but Jack just shrugged. “I'm not blind Terry, I can see he's a fox. But if Judy trusts him, then so do I. And since when has Judy done anything 'normal’?”

Terry snarled and turned away from jack, this time his gaze falling on Bonnie and Stu. “You! You're ok with this?! With your daughter, MY SISTER being engaged to some filthy flea ridden invisible mammal looking PELT!” He spat the last word as if it were coated in poison, no doubt hoping the slur would get a rise out of Nick.

for several more seconds there was silence, the use of the slur rendering them all stunned for a moment; well almost all of them. he had grown up being called that… and worse. it was Bonnie who spoke first, her voice calm but containing and edge to it Nick had never heard. “Yes Terry, we are. in fact," Bonnie raised her voice so everyone in the hall could hear. "if anyone has a problem with Nick and Judy being engaged or with them staying here for the foreseeable future, then you can leave this burrow until they do. UNDERSTAND?”

the entire dining hall was silent for a few moments before ack, the grey and black striped rabbit chuckled softly. “in other words Terry, you and your little gang are the minority. So either shut up and MOVE so we can all eat or get out.”

Nick watched as Terry's face grew red with anger, his eyes jerking from face to face but finding little support. after several seconds he stamped his foot furiously. “FINE! But this," Terry gestured furiously to him and Judy. “isn't natural!" a second later Terry and his small group of followers around him turned and stormed out. 

the silence that settled in the room as deafening. “I'm sorry." his voice was low. his tail had dropped and was now laying on the floor, his ears were still folded back against his head and his voice was soft and low. “I didn't mean to cause trouble. it's ok… I can go.”

Bonnie shook her head, responding before Judy could. “No Nick. I'm sorry. I should have realized Terry would try to start something. he's my son… but that’s no excuse. I'm so sooo sorry he called you that. it… it was beyond unacceptable. I’ll speak with him about it later.” 

taking a deep breath Nick shrugged and shook his head. “it's fine. I've been called a lot worse before." 

Stu sighed and shook his head. “No. it's not ok. he was way out of line.”

Sighing softly Nick spoke. “Look… I'm not stupid. I know not everyone is going to be thrilled about me and Judy being together.” As he spoke he looked at his fiance. After a few moments he shifted, reaching out to take Judy's paw. “But… I proposed because I didn't care what others thought. Because her opinion is the only one I really care about at all.” he watched as Judy's face turned a little red. “And that's still true. I… I don't want to cause problems in your family. But… that doesn't mean I won't stand up for myself or Judy. Because I love her. So… it's ok.” He looked to Bonnie and Stu. "your son is entitled to his opinion. You can't punish him for that. Just like how you can't punish me for this.” A second later he bent over slightly, lifting Judy off the floor so they were level before pulling her into a kiss. For a moment it was like he almost could feel her. He'd kissed her so many times before he knew it by heart  the warmth of her lips, the softness of her fur against his. He'd memorized it all before and for now… for now that memory was enough. He could fake the rest. Pulling away after a few seconds he grinned, feeling his heart speed up a bit as Judy blushingly smiled at him. “I love you."


	8. Reactions

“So, how did this happen?" as he spoke Jack gestured between Nick and Judy. looking to Judy Nick watched as she swallowed her mouthful of stew before speaking. 

“well… we got really drunk one night and ended up playing cards. Nick lost so I told him as the loser he had to take me out to this restaurant I'd been really wanting to go to.” he grinned, recognizing the story she and he had come up with for whenever anyone asked how they'd become a couple. 

taking over the story he chuckled. “Lost? I don't remember losing. I remember folding to spare your feelings, Cause I had won the last five games and you were getting rather upset.” Nick smirked at Judy and looked to Bonnie and Stu. "she doesn't like to lose." 

both Bonnie and Stu grinned and Bonnie shook her head. “no she doesn't. I remember once when her brothers beat her at hide and seek and she threw a fit." 

Nick's grin widened, his eyes flickering to Judy who's ears had flicked back with embarrassment. “anyways, after the dinner we went for a walk and ended up talking for hours and… everything just kinda clicked after that. I realized how much she meant to me. And that I didn't ever want to be without her. So… about a week later we went on a real date.”

As he finished the story he shifted, putting his paw on Judy's and giving what he hoped was a gentle squeeze. After a minute another one of Judy's siblings, a young brown and grey female rabbit spoke. “why are you covered in bandages?”

Nick sighed, his ears flicking back. Sensing his discomfort Judy tried to hastily change the subject, complimenting her mother on the food they'd all been enjoying. But her words broke off as Nick touched her paw before speaking softly. “It's… it's ok.” She fell silent, watching as he took a deep breath. "when I proposed… someone… didn't like it. They… they threw a bottle at us… it broke and cut Judy's face and hit me in the back of the head. I spent a week in a coma and… there have been other side effects. so the doctor said I need to keep my paws wrapped up.”

a slightly uncomfortable silence filled the table as he finished speaking. next to him e could hear Judy shifting in her seat, and a short glance at her showed him she was looking down at her plate deliberately not meeting her family's questioning gazes. after several moments Bonnie spoke. “The doctors want Nick and Judy to rest and relax, so they'll be staying in the guest burrow for the next few months. So you kids will have to keep it down when you're playing in the morning.”

a chorus of “awwww” followed her words, making Nick chuckled softly. Off in the distance a series of soft chimes rang out, making Stu clap his paws together firmly. “It's 9 o'clock, you kids go take your baths and get ready for bed." 

remaining silent Nick watched as the younger rabbit left the table, moving like a large herd towards the doors and out of the dinning hall leaving perhaps a few dozen older rabbits left. “Nick," the sound of Bonnie's voice made him turn to look at the rabbit. He watched as across from him Bonnie looked at him closely for a few moments before speaking again. “if there is anything we can do… to make you feel… more comfortable or more welcome here; please let us know. Ok?”

He smiled, shaking his head in what he hoped was a convincing manner. “Oh no. That's ok. You don't need to do anything special. I'll just try and be quiet and out of the way. I don't want to cause anyone any trouble or be a burden.” He shifted a little, moving to rest his paw over Judy's. “I'm grateful that you're allowing us to stay here. That's help enough.” He smiled again, doing his best to try and conjure up one of his carefree that he'd gotten so good at over the years. Across from him Bonnie looked to her husband. It was clear they didn't quite believe him, but luckily Judy came to the rescue a second later.

“Why don't Nick and I help you with the dishes dad? Then I can show Nick around the main burrow a little and then we'll turn in for the night?”

Stu continued to look at Nick for another moment before nodding. “Ok pumpkin, that would be great."

Mentally sighing in relief Nick moved, pushing his chair back before making his way around the table, gathering up plates and utensils as he did so. He'd just moved to collect a second glass when it happened. He thought he was being careful, trying to remember how it felt to hold a glass in a paw normally. He was wrong though because with a loud sound the glass in his paw cracked, spider web like breaks lancing through the glass which broke in his grip a moment later. He yelped in surprise, letting go of the glass as quickly as he could, watching it fall to the floor in a hundred or so pieces. Around him rabbits turned, looking at him, some of them whispered and pointed while other seemed to just stare at him. He barely heard them though, the sound of their whispers overshadowed by the deafening sound of the broken glass hitting the floor and breaking into even more pieces. For some reason the sound of the glass seemed magnified, not the soft tinkling breaking sound it was but instead a loud blasting shatter, one that left him frozen in shock where he stood. He stood there, frozen  his eyes wide as he stared at the broken glass which still seemed to be shattering before his eyes. 

"Nick?"

He blinked, and suddenly everything around him had changed. in front of him Stu was looking at him worriedly, the male rabbit's eyes scanning Nick's face. suddenly Nick exhaled, releasing a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. "s-so-sorr-" 

"Judy?" 

the sound of Bonnie's voice cut Nick off, her tone clearly unsure and worried. Nick's ears flicked in the direction of the voice, his head turning to look in the same direction. a little ways away Judy seemed to be standing still. her back was to Nick, but a year of living with her had made him more than able to spot the signs that something was wrong. the way her ears were not just down but later against her back, the way her tail was hanging limply with no signs of inflection. Nick's eyes widened as he noticed that even though Judy still held the plates she'd gathered in her paws, they were clattering and rattling in response to the trembling that had overtaken her paws.   _ Oh no. _

He sidestepped the broken glass, ignoring it completely as he rushed towards his bunny and came around her side. "Ju-" 

his voice trailed off as her face came into view. he'd seen mammals in bad shape before. it came with the job, no one called the police because they were having a good day. And now, staring at his fiance Nick could see her face he'd seen so many times before. Judy's pupils were dilated, making her eyes seem abnormally big compared to how they usually looked. Tears had welled up in the corners of them and even as he watched a few of the tears dripped down the sides of her face. her paws were indeed trembling, making the plates she was carrying shake and rattle in her grip despite her clearly vice like grip on them. with a jolt Nick noted that the shaking appeared to be getting worse. kneeling down Nick spoke softly, hoping his voice would help. "Judy… Hun… can you hear me?" 

Judy didn't respond, her face remained frozen in that expression as the rattling of the plates grew more violent. biting his lip Nick reached out, gently touching Judy's shoulder while his other paw went to her cheek, hoping the contact would help draw a reaction from her. "Judy, talk to me." 

She reacted to that, her eyes darting up to look at him. For several seconds she looked at him  her expression pained and fearful, then; slowly in a weak and soft tone Nick had never heard her use before she spoke. "N-n-Nick?"

He nodded, his other paw coming up so he could cup her face in them. "It's me Judy. I'm right here. Just breath." 

The plates in her grip rattled louder as she struggled to breath, her chest rising and falling while her expression remained the same. Biting his lip Nick tried to think of a way to help. It was clear the sound of the glass breaking had caused this, and mentally he kicked himself for thinking she'd come away from what had happened without trauma of her own beyond the scars on her cheek. "N-n-Nick… p-p-please… please… do-don't… go..."

Her voice was pained and clearly upset, the tears had begun to fall faster now down the sides of her face. Releasing Judy's face Nick reached out, with a little effort he pulled the plates from Judy's paws before setting them on the ground so they wouldn't get dropped. His paws went to her shoulders after that, pulling her in close so she was against his chest while his arms wrapped around her. "I'm here Judy. I'm right here." he could feel her shaking, her body vibrating as if she were standing on a piece of machinery. "Hold onto me Judy. I'm right here, I promise." slowly Nick felt her arms move, encircling his chest while she pressed her face into his chest and; he held her tighter, as her sides shake and heave as she began to cry. not the small trickles of tears that she'd been almost silently crying a moment before. no these were thick heavy sobs, sobs that made her entire body shake and made Nick hold his fiance as close as he possibly could.

making up his mind Nick move, shifting his stance so he could lean down to lift Judy off the ground and carry her against his chest. turning to look at Bonnie and Stu Nick couldn't help but squirm a little at the expressions of fear and uncertainty that were being directed at him from the rest of Judy's family. A few of them were still whispering and pointing and for a brief moment Nick worried about what they might be saying. Did they blame him for this? Did they blame him for the state Judy was in now? He had dropped the glass after all. Was this really all his fault? The sound of Judy's sobbing made him focus. taking a small breath Nick spoke to Judy's parents. "Thank you for dinner, but I don't think we're up for that tour after all. I think… we'll just go to bed."

in front of him Bonnie nodded mournfully before speaking softly. "Ok. Will… l will we see you both tomorrow for breakfast?" 

looking down at the bunny clinging to him desperately; Nick bit his lip before responding. "I… I don't know. we'll see how tonight goes." 

Again Bonnie nodded, while Stu took a small step forward. "I'll follow you out. help you with the doors."

Nick smiled and nodded in thanks, allowing Stu to half lead him through the burrow and out into the cool nighttime air. The cold air made Nick shiver slightly, his fur puffing up slightly to try and keep him warm. Next to them Stu trudged along silently, looking at his daughter who still had her faced pressed firmly against Nick's chest. The dirt path around the burrow crunched under their paws as they walked. Vaguely Nick was aware of how quiet things were around them. Usually their idea of quiet involved the rumble of car engines, the sound of voices as people called to each other, the hum of air conditioners and the occasional plane flying overhead. But now… a soft wind rustled through the trees, off in the distance a few feral animals called to one another, and the only other sounds he could hear was the faint whimpers that had replaced Judy's sobbing. Holding her a bit closer Nick paused as Stu opened the door to the guest burrow before stepping back and allowing Nick to carry Judy inside.

Turning just inside the doorway Nick tried to think of something to say to Stu. After several moments of silence he managed a soft, "I'll take care of her. I promise."

Stu nodded, taking a deep breath before responding. "I know you will Nick. You make my Jude happier than anyone else, so I know she's in the best paws possible."

His heart clenched at Stu's words. Taking a deep breath Nick spoke softly. "Thank you. I'll do my best." 

Stu nodded again, staying just long enough to say "goodnight you two," before turning and heading back to the main burrow. Closing the door with his foot Nick slowly made his way through the burrow and into the bedroom. It was a little tricky laying down on the bed without rolling on top of Judy, but after a bit of twisting and maneuvering he managed to do it all while allowing Judy to keep her vice like grip on his shoulders. Shifting a little Nick reached up, gently stroking Judy's ears as she'd shown him how to do what felt like a lifetime ago. She'd stopped whimpering now and her shaking had gone away for the most part but still she clung to him; her grip almost white knuckled with how tight it was. In the darkened room Nick spoke, willing his words to help sooth Judy but also to give him something to do so he felt like he was helping. "The first time I saw you Judy, do you know what I thought? I thought you were adorable, like a little stuffed animal with your hat and vest. I remember thinking how cute you looked. Then you opened your mouth and you were so authorative so motivated and focused. I couldn't help but get a kick out of it. I knew you were gonna be trouble, but I liked your spunk. Then you tried to frame me for tax evasion and begrudgingly I admired you. A goody goody like you hustled an expert like me. It was… impressive. FinNick still gives me crap to this day about it."

He paused for a moment, looking down at Judy to try and find any sign that his words were helping her. "When you kissed me that night… I can't even put into words how good it felt. I'd been wanting to kiss you for months but I'd been so scared. I was so worried I'd ruin everything. That you'd get mad at me and not want to be my partner. That I'd lose everything and wind up selling pawcicles again. but then… there you were, kissing me first. And God's… you are such a good kisser."

He chuckled softly, the memory of that kiss filling his mind. Yes the kiss had been drunken, yes she'd been clinging to him so hard she'd almost pulled him over. Yes they'd both tasted of bad beer and stale popcorn. But that kiss, it had been the best kiss of his life; Paws down. Taking a deep breath he moved, his paw coming to rest against Judy's chin as he tilted her head up to look at him. "Judy," her eyes were so different now. Normally they were strong and confident but instead now they were scared and unsure. Leaning down Nick pressed his lips softly against her forehead. "Judy I love you."

He watched as she took a deep breath, her sides shuddering slightly before speaking. "I… I l-love you t-too." 

He held her close, gently stroking her ears and back. "I don't know what's going to happen. Or how long it's going to take us to get back to how things were or even if we ever can. Maybe we never will. But I know my feelings for you won't change. I love you Judy Hopps and I'll always be right here for you. Nothing could take me away. Ok?"

He watched as she heaved. Her chest growing as she took a long slow deep drawn out breath before nodded  "O-ok." He pressed his nose against her head, inhaling her soft scent and allowing it to fill his nose and lungs. 

After several long seconds in which the only sounds in the room was their breathing, Judy spoke. "N-Nick… do you… do you think… we'll ever… be normal… again?"

He closed his eyes and held her close. He wished he could say yes. He wished beyond anything to say that they would get back to how they were. How they would get better, get their jobs back, get married and live happily ever after. He wanted to say that more than anything he'd ever wanted before.

"I don't know."

 

\-----------

 

"A fox. A good damn predator. Fuck." Terry hopps growled, taking another sip from the bottle of beer he'd been nursing for the last half hour. He was still mad. No, mad didn't even begin to describe what he was feeling. His sister had always been different, yes. She'd never been content to lead a life like the rest of them. He didn't understand it, but he didn't hold it against her. Hell when they'd been teens she'd asked him with help learning restraining holds and ways to bring mammals to the ground; because he was on the school wrestling team. He'd shown her the techniques, glad to help her in anyway he could. When she'd gone off to the city he had of course seen her off. But this? Being engaged to a fox, a predator?

He took another drink from his beer, feeling the once cool but now lukewarm liquid fill his mouth before draining down his throat. Finding the bottle now empty Terry waved his paw, signalling to the bartender to give him another, which was promptly opened and then put in front of him a few seconds later by a young mouse who smile and offered him a small "cheers," before moving away from him. As she shifted away Terry's gaze lingered on her retreating butt. There was no denying it was attractive, as was the black and grey markings on the mouse's face and shoulder. 

Taking a drink from the new beer Terry's thoughts returned to her sister. He liked to think he was pretty open minded. Unlike a lot of other rabbits he didn't think a female's roll should be just housework and making babies. He had no problem with them pursuing their own dreams and aspirations. When Judy had said she wanted to be a police officer he had been one of the few siblings who hadn't laughed at her. He wasn't even against interspecies marriage. If two mammals were in love then who carried what species they were? No what bother him most was the idea of that fox… a predator… a predator with razor sharp claws and teeth. A predator who could fly into a rage and hurt his sister without a second thought. He'd seen what predators could do when they got angry. He'd been in enough bar fights to know that when predators got mad, no matter how controlled and tame they were it all went out the windows. Especially when it came to fights with other predators. he'd seen completely mild mannered predators loose it and devolve into wild animals. How could Judy want to be in a relationship with someone like that, let alone marry him? and worse still how could their parents be ok with it?!

another drink left his head buzzing slightly, a sin he should probably stop or he'd have a hangover tomorrow. sighing to himself he dug into his wallet and dropped a $50 onto the counter. it was way more than his tab was, easily $20 over; but right then he didn't care that much. he had to do something. He had to figure out some way to make his family understand the dangers of Judy marrying that fox. They could hate him for it all they wanted, but they needed to understand. Standing up Terry tugged his Jacket a little closer to his chest before leaving the bar. 

  
  


\--------------

  
  


sleep did not come easy to either Nick or Judy. Both of them shifted and tossed and turned for a long time, struggling to get comfortable, but for completely different reasons. For Nick he felt restless. his should be tired, he knew that. and yet no matter how he laid he didn't feel comfortable. on his back was no good, the lack of feeling making him feel as if he was floating above the bed. on his side was a bit better, and it gave Judy a little space to curl up in, but again the lack of touch made him feel as for parts of his body were out of alignment. as if his legs were somehow laying higher than his head. he'd never been able to sleep on his stomach, and the one time he tried that night was an instant no; not being able to hold onto Judy was worse than not feeling anything. so he settled onto his side, watching as Judy sleepily cuddled against his chest as she had done so many times before. just like before his arms came out, protective wrapping around her shoulders. they'd slept like this so many times before; it normally brought him comfort and peace. In a way it still did, but no longer in the same way.

Before, when he and Judy had slept like this it had been about the warmth, the closeness, about feeling the other and knowing that they were right there. But now… now it was different. He couldn't feel her warmth anymore. She was pressed against his chest, same as she always did, yet he felt nothing. No warmth, no closeness, nothing. Instead the only sense of feeling he got now was from when she exhaled and her breath would waft against his neck and the spot he still had feeling. In the dark he looked at her; at her closed eyes and her nose which twitched slowly in response to something in her dream. His eyes drifted sideways, going to the side of her face and the spot where the broken bottle had cut her. Even in the dark he could clearly see a few of the scars, the skin now to thick for fur to grow through it. He felt his stomach twist painfully. He shouldn't have proposed in the street. He should have waited till they were inside. He should have taken her to a real restaurant and proposed there. His mind whirled with all the things he should have done. All the ways he could have kept this from happening. He'd fucked it up. He'd ruined that moment. And even though she had said yes, even though she still wanted to be with him after everything that had happened… that moment would be forever tainted. Forever marred by his failure to protect her, to do the very first thing a mate was supposed to promise to do.

Softly he spoke, his voice barely a whisper in the darkened room so as not to wake her. "I'm sorry." 


	9. Sense Of Normality

Morning on the farm was quite a lot different from mornings in the city. In their apartment Nick and Judy's morning usually consisted of a 30 minute wake up period, followed by some brief but very welcome cuddling and nuzzling along with some soft 'I love yous' a bit of kissing or maybe more if they felt a tad frisky that day. Then one of them would make breakfast while the other hopped into the shower and got ready for the day. Then they traded off, with the one who was dressed and ready taking over breakfast while the other got dressed and groomed before both of them met at the table and had a short but enjoyable breakfast together before grabbing their gear and heading off to work. It was scheduled and had a routine to it, but it was pleasant and gave them plenty of time to relax and enjoy being together.

Morning on the farm was very different. The first big difference being how they woke up.For Judy was it almost the same as before, a slow gently rising from sleep that left her blinking and yawning while her nose twitched as her senses came back online. But that was when things changed. Usually when she awoke the first thing she felt was her boyfriend. The feeling of Nick's chest against her head, their fur half woven together over the course of the night from their unconscious shifting and trying to get closer. But as she lay there, her brain slowly waking up she found that something was wrong. Normally Nick slept with his arms around her, a soft but protective embrace. Now though that embrace was tight and desperate. Opening her eyes Judy squirmed, the feeling of Nick's grip on her body actually making her feel a bit uncomfortable. She shifted to look up at him. Gone was his normally relaxed and calm face, instead his features were tensed and scrunched up. Even as she watched him his face twitched, contorting into an unmistakable expression of pain. Her grip on her shoulders tightened, so much so that she let out a loud gasp in surprise pain as she felt her spine pop. 

A moment later Nick's eyes snapped open, his green orbs unfocused and jerking around almost frantically. For several heartbeats his eyes jerked and scanned the area, then slowly she watched as they began to focus. "H-hey."

She felt his grip on her loosen, her joints easing from the lessened grip. But Nick's expression didn't change, the look of fear and confusion and pain covering his features. "M-mor..." He took a deep breath. "Morning."

She moved, running her paw along his chest before coming to press gently against cheek in what she hoped was a reassuring gesture. "Talk to me. you ok?"

She watched as Nick took several more deep breaths. Then slowly he nodded, his expression relaxing. "Yeah, I'm ok. Just… had a nightmare is all."

She continued to look at him. She was worried. On the train ride here he'd very clearly had a nightmare. Now on their first night here he'd had another. Was this going to happen often? Was he going to have them every night? The doctor had given them a bottle of prescription sleeping pills, could those help? She remembered once having to take some when she'd broken her arm once. Hey had been like flipping a switch, one moment she was awake and then next she was waking up. Could the pills help Nick sleep better? Nick seemed to be able to tell what she was thinking. He spoke, moving to pull her against his chest tenderly. "Really Judy, I'm ok. I just had a nightmare, I'm sure it'll pass by tonight." 

She remained silent for several seconds, looking up at him. She could see the small bit of strain in his expression, the slight fatigue in his eyes, the way his smile was stretched a tad bit too far to be real. Sighing softly, she leaned against his chest, resting her head against his collarbone before speaking softly. "Ok Nick. But please, if it gets worse… tell me. Ok?" 

He smiled and moved, leaning in to gently nuzzle her neck, planting a soft kiss before responding. "I will. I promise."

She groaned softly, her reaction automatic; her head tilting back slightly to expose more of her neck to him. "O-ok."

He held her close for a few more seconds, pressing his nose against her neck and allowing her scent to fill his lungs. She really did smell beautiful, flowery yet musky. After several deep lungfuls he let her go, smiling as she giggled and pulled away. "Come on slick, let's get ready for breakfast."

He nodded slowly getting to his feet. "You wanna shower first or should I?"

But Judy shook her head. "Nope. The doctor said you'd need help to take a shower, since you can't feel the heat of the water. Soooooo," she grinned at him. "You and I are doomed to forever shower together until your feeling comes backs."

THAT made him raise an eyebrow, his tail wagging a little. "Oh darn. And here I was enjoying showering alone without a sexy beautiful bunny with me."

Judy grinned. "I'll go get the water started. Loose the pants foxy and then come join me."

His face split into a cocky grin as Judy turned and moved towards the door. "Yes ma'am." He watched as she left the room, vanishing through the doorway and out of sight. The moment she was gone his grin faded. He forced himself to breath, a paw coming to run over one of his ears. Slowly getting to his feet he started to undress, pulling off his shirt and pants wild his mind involuntarily shifted back to the dream. To the vision of him sitting alone in a dark and empty apartment, surrounded by empty bottles that he'd tried to drink himself to death with. In the hazy vague logic of the dream world he'd known he was spiraling, that no one was going to come and save him. That Judy was gone and was happier somewhere else ready to have her first batch of kits with some faceless buck. That he wasn't ever going to get better and was doomed to be numb forever. And then… 

A shudder rolled through him, making him stop moving as the memory filled his mind; so vivid and clear it might as well have been a vision of the future. A vision of his service weapon in his paw and the knowledge that it was loaded… with one bullet. 

He shook his head roughly, trying to force himself to forget the dream. It was nothing, just a dream, not worth mentioning to Judy or anyone. He'd be fine, he just needed to do something active. Yeah, that was it. Sitting around for the last few days wasn't stimulating him mentally, so his mind was focusing on things he didn't want it to. Being up and about today, that would be best for him. Stripping the last of his clothes off Nick's ears flicked at the sound of the running shower. Quickly he left the bedroom, walking faster than usual down the hall and towards the door that was open a jar with steam starting to waft out of it. Pushing open the door, he felt his breath hitch in his chest, the sight inside the room enough to still take his breath away even after all this time. In front of him Judy had stripped down to her underwear, but had paused in her undressing so she could adjust the temperature of the water. His eyes savoured the vision, drinking in every beautiful detail of her body. The soft gently way her ears hung behind her, weighed down by a small weighted tie so water wouldn't get in them. The beautiful elegant curve of her neck, the way her shoulders dropped down and became her chest and stomach before widening again slightly as they became her hips. Without thinking he moved into the bathroom, heading straight towards his rabbit. Before, the feeling of running his paws through her fur was almost orgasmic with sensation, now…

He bit his lip, pushing the longing for sensation from his mind. He could remember what her fur felt like, how soft and warm and perfect it was. He pulled at that memory, letting it fill his mind as he reached out, teasingly squeezing her butt before his paws drifted upwards to her shoulders and neck. In front of him Judy jumped slightly, no doubt startled by the sudden sensation of someone squeezing her butt. Yet any complaints she may have had vanished as his paws began to knead and squeeze her shoulders and neck, instead earning him a low soft groan as she straightened up and leaned back into the touch. "H-hi."

He grinned, leaning in so he could gently nuzzle her neck. As he did so he inhaled, allowing her beautiful scent to wash over him and through him; filling him. "Hey there sexy bunny."

She chuckled softly, her chest heaving slightly as she did so. Slowly his paws drifted down and around, running along her sides before coming to cup her chest gently. She didn't have a huge chest, something he knew she'd always been a little self conscious of. Gently he ran his thumbs over the delicate lace of her bra. He loved her chest, it was just right for him. Her breasts fit perfectly in his paws, and the small floof of fur between her breasts was beautiful and only made him want her more. Slowly his paws traced the edges of her bra, enjoying the soft moan she let out and she pressed back against his chest. His muzzle turned, pressing a kiss just under her jaw before slowly trailing down her neck, planting more kisses as he did so. "You're so beautiful." Her only response was to groan at the stimulation. He continued to run his paws along her bra, undoing the hook in the back with a single motion and letting it fall to the floor. Before it had even landed his paws returned to her chest. A twinge of sadness rippled through him as he ran his fingers unfeelingly through her fluff. But he pushed those twinges away and instead ran his paws down her chest and stomach before gently toying with the waistband of her underwear. Gently he nipped at her neck, allowing his teeth to brush harmlessly against her neck in a way he knew she loved. At the same time he caught the band of her underwear between his fingers, decadently sliding them down her hips until they too fell to the floor, leaving Judy naked and bare for his paws to roam. 

He trailed more kisses down her neck and shoulders, his paws squeezing her hips. "I love you."

She turned, a cute expression of embarrassment and lust covering her face as she wrapped her arms around his neck. A second later it was his turn to groan as he felt her paws drift along the base of his ear, sending soft shivers of sensation through him. "I love you more," she said softly.

He chuckled, kneeling slightly so he could pick her up before stepping into the shower she'd prepared. It was a bizarre experience. He'd taken thousands of showers in his life, he could describe how they felt almost without effort. Yet now there was almost no sensation at all. For a moment he found himself distracted from his bunny, watching as the (he assumed) warm water washed over her legs and arms with absolutely no sense of feeling or wetness. Judy seemed to know what he was thinking because a moment later her paws went to his face, gently turning it away from the shower and back to her. "Focus on me. Ok?" 

He swallowed the small lump that had formed in his throat but nodded. "O-ok. I-I'll..." 

She cut him off, his words dying away as she kissed him again. He groaned softly at the kiss, feeling her fur rubbing against his collarbone while her paws ran over the base of his ear. Slowly the kiss deepened, a shiver running through him as it did. He shifted, pressing her against the wall of the shower as a deep throaty growl slipped from his throat. This time when they broke apart it was only for a moment, just long enough for them to both take a single ragged gasp before their lips were back together again. He growled again, this one lower and deeper, grinning as he watched her fur bristle and stand slightly on end as a result. Slowly he began to move his attention, giving her lips another quick kiss before moving on to her jaw, then her chin, her neck and shoulders. For a few moments he focused on her chest, swirling his tongue across her nipples before gently nipping at them with his teeth. The sound of her gasp spurred him on, making him nip them again before slowly drifting down lower and lower and lower until he felt her paw drift across his ear and grp it softly. "N-n-nic-MMMMM!"

her entire body surged as he moved, his tongue coming out to run along her sex. Instantly her flavor filled his mouth; sweet, tart, salty and sour all at once. He loved her flavor, it was so inexplicably hers, unlike anything he'd ever tasted and was unlikely to find anything like it ever again. He pressed forward, running the flat of his tongue against her entrance, enjoying the sensation of her grip on his ears tightening. "N-n-ni-AH!"

He moved, pressing his paws to her thighs, gently petting circles into them as he gently spread them a little wider. His tongue came out, pressing against her folds which resisted for just a heartbeat before allowing him to slip inside and taste her better as he allowed more and more of his tongue to fill her. He stopped only when she gave him the clue, a soft gasp and a gently squeeze of his ears; telling him he could stop. He paused there, his eyes and head looking up at her for a moment. Her eyes were closed, her head tilted back so she was half looking up at the ceiling. Her chest rose and fell raggedly, making her breasts heave slightly with each breath she took. Everytime he exhaled he could see a small shiver run through her body. In a word she was beautiful, completely and utterly beautiful. For several seconds he let her rest, watching as she forced herself to breath, to take slow deliberate breaths; her chest rising and falling almost hypnotically with each one. Then slowly he began to move, gently rolling his tongue like he would if he was going to lick her. Instantly she inhaled a little sharper, her breathing becoming deeper as he feels her legs shake slightly. 

He allowed the moment to take him, losing himself in it. Her taste, her scent, the feeling of her paws on his ears, the sound of her pants and moans and gasps. He was doing this to her. He was making her feel this way. He was making her make these sounds. He clung to that, the knowledge that he could still affect her like this. He let off a soft hum, allowing his tongue to vibrate gently from the sound. Again Judy gasped, a kind of squeak escaping her lips at the sudden change in sensation. "N-n-Nick…." Her breath was deep and husky, a mixture of want, lust, ecstasy and hunger. He knew what she wanted, and he was more than happy to give it to he; for as long and as much as she wanted. He began to move his tongue a little more, still rolling it forward so it ground against her entrance but also by moving the tip; making it wriggle and dart around deep inside her. His reward was the soft moan of pleasure that escaped her lips, the feeling of her grip on his ears tightening and the sudden rush of sweetness that mixed into her taste.

He savoried it, drinking in every moment of what was happening. For the first time since their attack he felt like he was doing what was right, what a fiance was supposed to do. He lavished attention to her, doing everything he knew and had learned. He slipped his tongue in deeper, allowing his nose to tease her hips as he did so. His fingers ran through her fur while his claws firmly but tenderly trailed down her skin. He could feel the faintest of thrusts coming from her. Her hips bucking and jumping  trying to make him go faster which he did a moment later. He was rewarded by a panting shuddering gasp, the sound of her voice shaking as she struggled to speak. "N-n-ni-"

He pressed her tongue deeper feeling her insides squeeze around it her flavors becoming stronger as a result. He loved her flavor, it was so indescribably perfectly her's. Somehow before they'd even slept together he'd known exactly how she would taste, and he'd been right. Her wonderfully sweet yet musky almost fruity-esk flavor was exactly what he'd known it would be.

"I'm g-gonn- f-FU-FUCK!"

A second later he felt her tense, her body going rigid and tense as her climax hit her full force. He grunted as he felt her grip on his ears become almost painfully tight while he had forced his muzzle against her sex. He welcomed every moment of it. Every shaking panting gasp she let out, every tiny little grip on his ears, the flavor of her juices on his tongue. He savored it all, letting the moment wash over him. Things hadn't gone the way he'd hoped  would. He'd hoped that by now they'd be telling people at the office and telling Judy's parents. Instead… he… they...

But this he could do this right. Even with his condition he could still please her, at least in this way. So he worked as hard as he could, drawing out his fiance's climax for as long as he could, doing his best to make her feel as good as he possibly could. Fueled by the sounds of her grunts and moans and the feeling of her body shivering and shaking he worked; his tongue darting, swirling, and licking inside her. It was a small signal, the slightest pressure of her pushing against his ear that told him to stop, that she had had enough and was at her limit. Slowly he withdrew from her, his lips pressing a series of kisses along her hip and back up her stomach, chest, neck and jaw. She was still panting and shaking when he reached her lips, but the kiss was still as warm and as perfect as ever. He felt her shiver a little as his tongue slipped back into her mouth, allowing her to taste the dregs of her own juices that were still on his tongue. As he pulled away he chuckled softly, amused by the almost drunk expression on her face. "You ok?"

She nodded weakly, "Y-yeah. Just… fuck… that was strong."

He smiled, his paws drifting down her sides to her hips so he could lift her off the small seated ledge he'd put her on and instead pull her against him before planting his back against the wall and sliding down it till they were both seated under the flow of the shower. "Carrots… I love you."

Her response was a kind of drunken, "Love you too."

 

\-------------

 

Breakfast was an oddly nervous situation for Nick. He knew rabbits didn't have the most sensitive sense of smell. Sure they could smell some things better than others. He'd learned Judy's nose for example was particularly good at finding fruits. So the chances of her parents smelling what she and he had done in the shower were low. But that didn't stop him from tensing slightly when Judy hugged her parents and wished them a good morning. Was it his imagination or did Stu's eyes flicker over to look at him for a moment? Surely they wouldn't be mad. They were engaged after all, of course they'd be intimate together. If Judy's parents could smell what they had done, neither of them have any indication. Instead the pair hurried him and her into the dinning room, sitting them both down at the same table from the night before. "What'll you have?"

He hadn't even finished starting to answer before a plate of steaming hot eggs, fresh fruits, an already buttered biscuit and a selection of what appeared to be jams were placed in front of him by Bonnie who smiled widely at him. "Enjoy!"

He blinked, slightly surprised by the genuinely happy tone in Bonnie's voice. "Th-thanks." 

Next to him Judy smiled at her parents, thanking them too, before starting to eat. He started with the eggs first, taking a bite of them and finding that they were easily the best eggs he'd ever eaten in his life. The biscuit was warm and flaky, and paired deliciously with a blueberry jam that had him licking a stray glob off one of his fingers because of how good it was. As he downed what was possibly the coldest most tasty glass of milk in the history of ever Bonnie spoke to him and Judy. "I was thinking, since you and Nick couldn't go on the tour last night, why don't I show you around today?"

Nick nodded, half licking his lips while Judy smiled at her mom. "That would be great mom, thanks."

Bonnie smiled, her eyes drifting to Nick and watching as he set the now empty glass down on the table. "I'd like that a lot. Thank you."

She beamed. "Ok, well then if you'll follow me I'll be happy to-"

"Hey Judy."

The sound of a new female voice made Nick turn. A new female rabbit had appeared, instead of the common grey color most of Judy's family seem to have this rabbit was grey but with splotches of brown along her neck and one of her ears. She wore slightly thick black framed glasses and wore a pair of tattered and ratty jeans with a t-shirt that sported the logo of Zootopia University on it. Next to him Judy jumped up and pulled the female rabbit into a hug. "Jill! Oh gosh it's good to see you. I thought you'd be at school still."

The brown and grey rabbit smiled, pulling her sister into a hug before speaking. "Nope, I graduated."

Judy pulled back, looking at her sister with surprise. "Graduated?! How? You've only been there for three years."

Jill shrugged. "Took some placement tests and they told me I could skip a year and jump right in to junior level courses."

Judy blinked in surprise again. "Wow, so you really are my genius sister."

Jill shrugged casually. "Technically no, I'm not a genius but-"

But Judy cut her off, rolling her eyes as she spoke. "Just take the compliment Jill."

For her part Jill sighed and nodded. "Fine." A moment later Judy's sister shifted, looking to Nick. "Mind if I borrow me sister for a couple of minutes. I wanna talk to her about something… private."

Swallowing nervously Nick shook his head. "No, I don't mind. Catch up with me on the tour?"

Judy nodded. "Yeah, I will."

He bit his lip, looking at Judy's sister. He had a slightly sinking feeling that this sister was pulling Judy aside to talk about him. About her being engaged to a predator. Or perhaps to demand some answers. ' _ You knew there were going to be some who didn't approve.' _

That was true. He had expected it. But that didn't stop his tail from drooping ever so slightly, or worrying voices in his head from telling him that he was ruining Judy's relationship with her family. As he said goodbye to Judy and allowed himself to be led along by Bonnie Nick felt his insides squirm guiltily. How many of Judy's family didn't agree with her and him being together? Terry certainly, and several brothers and sisters based off the group that had followed Terry when he left the other night. Was there any hope of winning them over and making them understand that he truly did love Judy? Or was he doomed from the moment they'd made the announcement? 


	10. "Get Out"

Following her sister through the burrow Judy remained silent, allowing Jill to lead her down the main hallway and off into F wing before stepping into Jill's room for some privacy. Behind them Jill closed the door, ensuring both of them were completely alone before turning to look at her. "Judy… how are you feeling?"

She blinked at the question, slightly taken aback by it. "Uh… fine… I guess. I'm not in pain if that's what you mean."

But Jill shook her head. "I don't mean physically Judy. I mean… mentally… how do you feel mentally?"

She frowned at the question. "I feel fine Jill. What's this about?"

Jill remained silent looking at her for several seconds before speaking. "Judy… I'm worried about you. Last night-" 

But Judy shook her head. "Last night was nothing Jill. Terry's always been a jerk. He ju-"

But Jill cut her off, shaking her head before talking over her older sister. "I'm not talking about Terry Judy. I'm talking about YOU and NICK, and wh-"

This time Judy spoke over her, her voice sharp and exasperated. "Not you too Jill. Oh my God why is everyone so against me being engaged to Nick?!  He's a nice guy. Really, he just happens to be a fox."

Jill glared at her younger sister, waiting several seconds before speaking again. "Judy I have no problem with you seeing or being engaged to a fox. That would be pretty hypocritical of me since I've dated preds in the past."

That statement made Judy Judy  her eyes widening slightly. "Wait, what? You've dated predators?"

Jill shrugged. "A tiger and a ferret. Yeah, they were nice, just didn't work out. Point is, I'm not talking about you dating or being engaged to Nick as a problem. What I'm talking about is last night when you became nearly comatose when that glass broke." At the mention of the broken glass Judy felt a shudder ripple through her body, the sound of the broken tickling glass echoing in her ears and mind. Jill noticed her reaction, reaching out to touch Judy's shoulder before speaking softly. "Like that. Judy, that isn't a normal reaction. Alarm, yes. Worry, yes. But shutting down like you did, barely able to speak or function; no. that isn't normal."

Forcing herself to breath Judy spoke, her voice wavering slightly. "I… I know."

Jill nodded. "Good. That's important to recognize. Judy, I think it would be good if you and Nick were to come and talk to me. You both need a safe quiet place to talk about what happened and… to overcome it."

Judy looked at her sister, trying to figure out what Jill was leading her too. "What are you saying Jill?"

In front of her Jill looked at her carefully, reaching out to touch her shoulder before speaking. "I want to help you Judy. You and Nick. I'd like it if you'd both come and speak to me so I can help."

Judy raised an eyebrow. "Like a therapist?"

Jill nodded. "Exactly."

Judy rolled her eyes. "The ZPD has therapists Jill. Me and Nick HAVE to talk to one before we'll be allowed back on the job."

Jill nodded and dramatically looked around. "And do you see any of them here? No, you don't. But I'm here, and I want to help. So why don't you swallow your pride just this once and let me help you. That way when you go back to work you can alrea-"

"YOU BASTARD! I'LL KILL YOU!"

The bellowing shout made both Jill and Judy jump Judy spinning around as she found she recognized the voice. "Oh no…"

 

\------------

 

Watching as Judy followed her sister out of the dining room Nick turned to Bonnie, doing his best to smile cheerfully. "Looks like I'm all you're Bonnie. Be gentle though, it's my first time in a bunny's burrow." The moment he'd made the joke he regretted it, realizing it was in poor taste to make such a joke to his soon to be mother in law.

Bonnie on the other hand smile warmly, letting out a small chuckle before responding. "Ok Nick, we'll go nice and slow. Now follow me." 

He did as she instructed, raising an eyebrow at her playful tone before following her out of the living room and down the hallway. "The burrow has several branches and wings. The ones here on the upper floor are the communal wings. This is where you'll find the gym, pool, kitchens, libraries, arcade, living rooms and family rooms. All of which you are welcome to use of course." Nick blinked slightly stunned at everything the family had managed to build down here. Bonnie seemed to understand his shock, because she turned and smiled at him. "This home has been in my family for 12 generations, we've had a very long time to build down here."

Nick nodded. "Yeah you have. Carrots always said her home was huge I just never imagined… all this."

As he spoke he gestured around him. In response Bonnie chuckled. "Well when you have 287 sons and daughters, you need a place to put them all and a way to keep them all entertained." 

Nick nodded but then raised an eyebrow. "287? Carrots said she had 281 siblings."

Bonnie nodded and smiled. "When she left for the academy three years ago, she did."

Nick nodded in understanding, biting back a comment that had sprung up about how good rabbits were at multiplying. Instead he followed the older rabbit as Bonnie lead him down a large central staircase which led deeper into the burrow. As he followed her Nick couldn't help but feel dozens of eyes watching him. There were others in the hallways besides him and Bonnie, adults and teenagers and even children all of whom smiled at Bonnie and said hello before turning to stare at him as they passed. A few of them tried to whisper under their breath when they thought he was out of earshot, but his keep sense of hearing was as sharp as ever and allowed him to hear what they were saying with ease.

"Is that him?"

"A fox in the burrow?"

"He and Judy are engaged."

"He could be dangerous."

"Why's he all bandaged up?"

"If mom is with him, maybe he's nice?"

"it's an abomination."

Against his will Nick's ears flattened against his head and his shoulders slumped. "Bonnie?" 

The older rabbit stopped and turned to look at him curiously. "Yes?"

Shifting nervously Nick bit his lip. "Be honest… please… is… is me being here… a problem?"

In front of him Bonnie sighed, turning to fully face him before responding. "I'll not lie and say everyone is ok with it. More than a few still believe in the old prejudices of predators and prey… and foxes being an ancestral enemy of rabbits... You being here… puts them on edge."

Nick's tail and ears dropped. After a few seconds he spoke softly. "Then maybe I should go back to the guest burrow and just stay there. I don't want to cause problems."

But Bonnie shook her head, speaking in a firm voice. "No. You are a member of this family Nick. I trust you, my husband trusts you, and my daughter is madly in love with you. If others don't like it then they can get out while you're here, just as I made it clear last night."

He didn't say anything. What she had said meant a lot to him. It was so rare for anyone to truly stand up for him. Yet here Bonnie was, standing up to her own family, even her own children on his behalf. It touched Nick in a way that forced him to take a deep breath to try and  keep tears from welling up in his eyes. When this didn't work he brought his paw to his eyes, pressing them against his face to try and hide the sudden rush of emotions. He pressed his paw firmer against his eyes, bringing up the other one so he hurriedly wipe away the tears that had started to collect. "I… I promise B-Bonnie… I'll be the best husband I can be for Judy. I promise." 

Bonnie's voice was soft and caring, and he had no doubt that she had moved closer to him and was quite possibly touching him in what she thought was a reassuring manner. "I know you Nick Wilde. You're going to be an amazing husband. I know it. Judy is lucky to have found you." It was all so much, the sudden rush of emotions that was running through him, making him feel light-headed and dizzy. It felt like the world was swaying around under his feet… literally. "Nick? Are you o- NICK!"

The sudden rush of heartfelt emotions vanished, replaced by another feeling. The feeling of falling. He reacted out of instinct, his paws leaving his face to stretch out and try to break the fall. His eyes opened just in time to see Bonnie's concerned and alarmed face rushing up at him as he fell forward towards her. They collided and crashed to the ground with a yelp and groan, with him landing on top of Bonnie and her ending up pinned beneath him in a tangle of limbs. His head was still spinning, making him groan weakly as he tried to pick himself up off the ground. "B-bonnie… are you o-ok?"

Beneath him he heard her respond. "Yeah. Nick what's wro-"

"YOU BASTARD! I'LL KILL YOU!"

Looking up in the direction of the shout Nick had just enough time to see a grey and brown rabbit coming straight towards him, his face twisted on an enraged snarl. "Wai-" But the rest of what he'd been about to say was cut off as Terry lashed out with his foot, connecting with Nick's shoulder and roughly kicking and shoving him off and backwards away from Bonnie.

"TERRY STOP!"

but the brown and grey rabbit either didn't hear his mother or didn't care. In a flash, Nick found Terry on top of him, his face twisted in a vicious snarl as he drew his fist back before slamming it against his face. His head snapped backwards from the blow, slamming against the hard floor underneath him making his ears ring painfully. "YOU BASTARD!" He tried to bring his paws up to defend himself, to push Terry off and away from him. In response Terry grabbed the front of his shirt and punched him again. A painful throb shot down the back of Nick's head, the first time he'd felt anything since the hospital making him yelp involuntarily. Above him Terry was still shouting at him. "I'LL KILL YOU FOR TRYING TO HURT MY MOTHER! I'LL KILL YOU!"

he could hear other voices, each of them echoing as if from far away. The pain in the back of his head grew as another punch connected with his face, knocking him back against the floor again. He groaned weakly, still trying to get the furious rabbit off and away from him. He didn't want to fight. He didn't want to cause more problems for Judy or her family. She was already risking so much by being with him. Now he was causing her family to fight with each other. Just by being there he was causing problems.

"TERRY GET OFF HIM!"

The sound of Bonnie's angry voice reached his ears, making him grunt as he continued to struggle. Above him Terry's face was still twisted in a raging snarl as he drew his fist back for another blow. He felt something inside him change, something flaring up in his chest, making his lungs burn and his chest feel tight. Before Terry could attack him again nick moved, his paws going to Terry's chest before giving the brown and grey rabbit a violent shove that knocked him backwards and away from him. 

"NICK!"

his eyes widened at the sound of that voice, the voice he recognized as belonging to his mate. More pain shot through his head as he looked around. "J-judy..." A moment later she appeared from the crowd that had gathered around them, rushing to his side before kneeling down next to him. 

He could see the look of worry on her face, even as his vision swam in and out slightly. "You're hurt."

He tried to shake his head and smile, but the smallest movement in his neck made him grunt as more pain pulsed through his body. "I-its…  just a s-scratch." Another Lance of pain made him grunt and press a paw to his temple which had begun to throb.

Next to him Judy turned on her brother, her fury almost palpable. "WHAT THE FUCK TERRY?! WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?!"

From where he'd gotten to his feet Terry shouted back. "MY PROBLEM?!" Terry pointed at Nick. "HE JUST ATTACKED OUR MOTHER! HE PRETENDED TO BE UPSET AND THEN WHEN SHE TRIED TO COMFORT HIM HE PUSHED HER DOWN AND TRIED TO FORCE HIMSE-"

" **TERRY BARTHOLOMEW ELIJAH HOPPS YOU WILL NOT FINISH THAT SENTENCE!** " The sound of Bonnie's voice made the breath in Nick's lungs freeze. He knew that tone. His mother had used it once or twice with him when he'd REALLY fucked something up. Like the time he'd been brought home by a truancy officer for skipping school. He shuddered against his will in response to that memory. Afterwards his mother had paddled his rump until it had been raw and blistered, leaving him unable to sit normally for almost a month afterwards. In front of them Nick watched as Bonnie pulled her arm free of a tall lanky black and grey rabbit who seemed to have been holding her back before stepping forward towards Terry and-

 

*SMACK*

 

the sound of the slap echoed around the now deathly silent hallway. Terry recoiled, his paw going to his cheek as he started at his mother in shock. "Mo-"

"SHUT UP." Bonnie's voice was cold and furious, such a departure from her usual warm and soft tone that it sent a shiver up Nick's spine. Next to him Nick felt Judy tense, and a quick glance in her direction allowed Nick to see that her eyes had widened in shock. In front of them Bonnie continued, her voice never waiver from its cold and its tone. "Get out."

Terry starred are her. "Wh-what?"

Bonnie stamped her foot angrily. "I said get out! Don't you dare come back until you're sister and her fiance are gone."

Terry's eyes flickered to him and Judy. "H-how lo-"

"AS LONG AS THEY DAMN WELL WANT! Now get out of this house Terry!" Bonnie turned to the crowd of rabbits that were watching. "And anyone else who has a problem with Nick and Judy being engaged. Get out of my house this instant!" 

Terry tried to speak. "But mo-" In a flash Bonnie rounded on her son, her paw going to his right ear which she pulled firmly making the brown and grey rabbit help loudly. "OW! Mom you're hurting me!"

"Good!" A moment later Bonnie shoved her son away from her. "I have never been more disgusted in my life Terry. NEVER! How dare you imply Nick forced himself onto me. I was comforting him and he fell." Terry opened his mouth to protest already motioning to Nick but Bonnie cut him off again. "I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT! Get out! Don't you dare come back until they're gone and if I see you around here before then I'll kick your speciest ass out for good!" Again terry tried to protest, opening his mouth to try and say something. Bonnie stormed forward, getting right up into her son's face until they were an inch apart. "Say another word Terry. I fucking dare you."

Terry's mouth closed so fast Nick swore he heard it click. The brown and grey rabbit shifted, his gaze going to him and Judy for another moment before growling and turning away, storming off down the hallway. "FINE! YOU WANT TO SIDE WITH THAT PELT OVER YOUR OWN SON, THAT'S JUST FINE! JUST DON'T EXPECT ME TO HELP WHEN HE SHOWS HIS TRUE COLORS!"

Bonnie rounded on the rabbits who had gathered to watch what was happening. "Piss off, all of you. NOW!" 

The crowd began to dissolve, the rabbits that had stopped to watch dispersing quickly under the stern gaze of the older doe. Nick began to move, slowly sitting up while groaning weakly. Next to him Judy was looking concerned. "Nick, are you ok? Are you… in pain? Do we need to call the hospital?" He tries to shake his head. He didn't want to go to a hospital, it had taken him more than a month to escape the last one. But as he moved his neck pain lanced through his head, making him hiss and press his paws to his temples as they throbbed painfully. "N-nick?"

He's been about to respond when a new voice called out, a hurried but calm male voice. "Don't move him!"

Forcing his eyes open Nick watched as a rabbit emerged from the crowd that was slowly disbanding. The male rabbit ran towards him, a small satchel of some kind carried under his arm. Unlike most of the rabbits in Judy's family this rabbits fur appeared to be a uniform black color over the parts of him that Nick could see. The new rabbit knelt down next to Judy who turned to look at him. "Marcus?"

The black rabbit nodded. "Hey Judy, long time no see." Marcus turned his attention to Nick. "Mr Wilde, my name is Marcus. I'm an EMT. Can you follow my finger please?"

As he spoke the black rabbit brought his paw up and began to move it from side to side. Doing as he'd been asked Nick followed the rabbits paw. After a few moments Marcus stopped. "Do you have any pain in your head?"

Nick grunted and nodded. "A… a little, yeah."

The bunny nodded and dig into his satchel which turned out to be a portable medical kit. After a few moments he produced a pen light and flicked it on before bringing up to one of Nick's eyes. For a moment Nick tensed, readying himself for the seating pain that usually came with having bright lights shone in his face. But that worry vanished with relief as Nick found the penlight Marcus was using was specifi6for predators and shown a much less intense red light. After several seconds Marcus shook his head. "Normal pupillary response. So no concussion, good. I think you'll be ok Mr Wilde, can you stand?"

Nodding gingerly, Nick watched as Marcus and Judy gave him some room, allowing him to slowly get to his feet. He winced slightly as he did so, another weaker ripple of pain washing through him. Biting his lip Nick looked to his fiance who was watching him with a worried expression on her face. He did his best to give her one of his usual trademark smiles. "Your brother has a mean left hook. He could fight professionally."

Judy didn't laugh. Behind her Bonnie was looking at him. "Nick, I… I have no words… I'm so sorry. I never thought… Terry would..."

But Nick shook his head, grateful this time when the movement brought him no pain. "It's… it's ok Bonnie. He was just trying to protect his family." 

Bonnie continued to look upset, her gaze going to Judy. "W-will he be ok?"

Next to them Marcus chimed in. "He seems ok. No blown pupils and he doesn't seem to have any balance issues right now, so he probably doesn't have a concussion. But he should take it easy for the next few hours. If he has any nausea or vomiting then he'll need to go to the hospital for sure."

Judy nodded. "Thanks Marcus. Thanks a lot."

Marcus shrugged and smiled at Judy. "Of course, that's what big Bros are for." Marcus turned to smile at Nick. "I'm sorry about Terry, he's always been a bit of an asshole. But I never thought he'd do something like that. Please know Mr Wilde, not everyone in the family is as… closed minded as he is."

Nick nodded, smiling as his eyes flickered to Judy. "That's good to know."

Marcus looked back to Judy. "Let me know if he gets any worse. Ok?"

Judy nodded and Marcus began to gather up his medical kit. After several seconds Bonnie spoke softly. "Come on you two. Let's go and find Stu, he can show you around the outside of the farm. And then later I can show Judy her new brothers and sisters."

Grateful to no longer be the center of attention Nick followed Bonnie and Judy back up the central stairs and to the front door before stepping out into the sunlight of the day. It was a little odd being out here in the country. Usually in the city he had to wear his dark sunglasses at all times, the sunlight reflecting off the buildings and their windows was like living in a world of mirrors all doing their best to blind him. Out here in the country however there was very little for the sun's light to reflect on, meaning that even though it was already midmorning with the sun rapidly gaining altitude above them, he didn't need his sunglasses at all. As he followed Bonnie and Judy down the step Nick glanced around, smiling as he found a dozen or so younger rabbits (to small to help work the fields) sitting in the front yard. But the children were not sitting idle or just mindlessly playing. Each of them sat in a small circle around a pile or corn or carrots, working to pull the leaves and greens off before tossing them into a plastic bin. The kids looked up at them as they exited the house, several of them calling to Judy and Bonnie while staring at him wide eyed. ' _ Probably the first time they've been this close to a fox _ .'

Bonnie seemed to know what he was thinking because halfway down the yard she paused, looking back to him before clapping her hands loudly to get the young rabbits attention. "Kids, this is Nick Wilde. He's Judy's soon to be husband. Say hello to him too."

Nick shifted nervously, feeling the eyes of all the young rabbits turn to look at him. "It's ok Bonnie they don't ne-"

But he found his words suddenly drowned out by a small chorus of hellos and good mornings from the rabbits around them. Blinking in slight surprise Nick did his best to suppress the small flashback to his first grade class and instead sheepishly smiled at all the younger rabbits. "Uh… hi."

From where she stood Bonnie smiled too. "Nick is going to be staying with us for a while, so be nice to him. Say hello when you see him, make him feel welcome."

The young rabbits all nodded, turning their attention back to their chores as Bonnie continued on her way, leading them out of the front yard and down a small and gravel road towards a large red Barn in the distance. As they walked Nick noticed Judy had slowed, her stride becoming shorter until she was walking next to him. Shifting to look at her Nick watched as his grey bunny reached out, lacing her fingers through his in a loving embrace. "Love you."

He smiled, doing his best to seem happy and cheerful. "Love you too." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> obviously im not a real doctor, so the treatment nick got after his attack is my best guess at how all that would happen.


End file.
